1/8/2009 3:34 AM
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Condominium fears in a bad economy


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When the coal mine arrived, it ate slabs of acreage all around our borough; farms and pieces of farms were bought for access roads, mine entrances, ventilation fans.

With talk of a possible layoff, could the end of mining be in sight?

That was the chief topic discussed at the semi-regular meeting of the Saturday Stable Drinking Society, an open forum of like-minded and thirsty individuals who gather, seated on campstools, somewhere downwind of the horses in the barn on the hill.

At the most recent official meeting it was decided that, generally, the coal mine overpaid.




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Scanning the minutes of the meeting (dutifully scribbled on the outside of a paper bag) we see that the Vice President of Pouring declared members "ready for another round" and moved that we "continue the discussion," thus "postponing" any horse manure maneuvers.

More talking.

Less shoveling.

It is our group's motto.

I had the floor and offered that the mine has been a "good neighbor" to us.

Once the fistfight cleared, other SSDS members stated calmly that they were not in agreement, some moving that my actions proved, once and for all, that I was a "suck-up."

The Director of Saddles forwarded a rumor that the properties the mine bought will be cleared of any signs of mining and once again be offered for sale, possibly soon.

It was moved that we all drink to that.

And we did.

The Under the Table Secretary of Hay then added that there are, in certain circles, rumors of "condominiums."

The meeting minutes from this past Saturday will note that, at that point, I stood up and loudly asked, "Condominiums for who, exactly? Show me the people aching to move to a Studio Loft just north of Lone Pine!"

I then sat back down. One must be careful to avoid sudden exertion during meetings of the Saturday Stable Drinking Society.

Scares the horses.

It was tabled and passed by a majority vote that if and when condominiums come to the neighborhood, we shall not support them, especially if they are named "Windy Knob," "Crusty Bluffs" or "Whispering Debt."

We paused for refreshments.

The Tack Room Auditor then added that, "America's economic soap opera has turned the burners down on big ideas like condominiums, shopping malls and, for that matter, coal mines. Any signs of eagle-eyed insiders planning on making their mark with former farms (available post mine) have disappeared."

He's a talker.

After a short break, during which piles of what politicians produce daily were wheeled from the stables to the special real estate development area just south of the barn, it was moved that the Saturday Stable Drinking Society would henceforth do everything in its power to keep the economy moving.

Among the ideas tabled were "buying more beer," "buying more chips," and, as a final thrust toward kick-starting this country's monetary system, "buying a new cooler."

One that holds "more beer."

Important decisions made, the meeting was adjourned.

To hear Scott Paulsen's column, visit www.observer-reporter.com. He can be heard each weekday afternoon from 3-7 p.m. on 1250 ESPN Radio.




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