• Gov. Ed Rendell is hell bent to lease the Pennsylvania Turnpike and its operations to the highest bidder, who, you would think, would be Pennsylvania citizens, considering they put up the money to build the thing in the first place. Says we're going to reap untold riches in doing so. Dunno if he's right about that.

• The successful high bidder will do what the Turnpike Commission has thus far refused to do, which is to seriously cut costs and improve the system from portal to portal. The first to be cut when privatization arrives will be the coterie of high-salaried personnel and the dim bulbs who lease all those orange barrels to define miles-long stretches of road nowhere near actual labor.

• Either way, some union people will have to get private-sector jobs with private sector-style benefits. The toll-collection process could be automated, and thinning the ranks of shovel-holder-uppers would save millions.

• What's next to privatize after the Turnpike? Our rivers? Our airspace? Sell advertisements on state patrol cars? Naming rights to our schools? Ad space on football and basketball jerseys?

• Hey, how about cutting the size of state government and the legislators' perks?

• Given my build (short and stout) and my sense of style (less GQ than IQ), I'll never be a fashion maven, and I know that. But if I were, I'd be somewhat upset over the bright orange color and the cut of the clothing worn by residents of Washington County Jail. Weekly it seems, and often almost daily, depending on the court system, our front page or the local news page carries pictures of inmates either going into court or being ushered back to the lockup, all of them in handcuffs and wearing those jail-issue bright orange jump suits.

• Enough's enough, already. Clearly, it's time for a fashion makeover before we either offend the legions of deer hunters, all well armed, you understand, or PennDOT, because the short and squat ones frankly resemble lane markers used to define highway work projects.

• I suggest prisoners be issued something in stripes, perhaps, basic black and white stripes. OK, if not that, the menfolk among them could wear something a little more elegant, given the fact that they are entering one of the classiest county courthouses around. Let's say, a long-sleeved T-shirt printed to look like a tuxedo jacket when viewed from the front, and distinctive broad black and white stripes in back.

• Hey, what's the point of pickup trucks fitted with very loud mufflers and finished in camouflage paint? To surprise deaf deer crossing the roads? It makes you wonder. I said, IT MAKES YOU WONDER.

Byron Smialek can be reached at bsmialek@observer-reporter.com.

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