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8/3/2007 9:52 AM

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Last week, the British newspaper The Guardian reported that a bidding war had broken out between two publishing houses for the rights to Keith Richards' autobiography.

Both companies had reportedly bid more than $7 million for the rights to the memoirs of the Rolling Stones guitarist, who will apparently be writing the book with novelist James Fox.

Richards' agent Ed Victor has already touted it as "the best rock 'n' roll book of all time" before pen has even been put to paper (or, more likely, a single key has been stroked on a laptop).

It's Victor's job to hype the product, so I suppose you wouldn't expect him to say Richards' tome will be dull and run-of-the-mill. But I have a tough time believing it will be "the best rock 'n' roll book of all time" no matter how many tales of debauchery make it into the final product.

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First of all, by their nature, autobiographies are not the most reliable sources in the world. They tend to be self-serving, with plenty of spin and self-justification. They're rarely great works of literature either, though there are exceptions (the autobiographies of Malcolm X, Elia Kazan, Bob Dylan and Charles Mingus come most immediately to mind).

But, that being said, you just have to wonder how much Keith Richards even remembers at this stage of the game.

As most people know, Richards has sacrificed thousands upon thousands of brain cells in the name of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. His rap sheet is formidable. And, on top of his pharmaceutical buccaneering, he also tumbled out of a tree in Fiji last year, landed on his noggin and required an operation or two. I'm no brain surgeon, but I can't imagine that's good for your long-term memory.

Or your short-term memory, for that matter.

I can only imagine how some passages will read:

"There was once this blonde-haired bloke in the band in the 1960s. I can't quite place his name now..." (hint, Keith: he was Brian Jones).

"In 1973, we released the album 'Goats Head Soup.' I don't remember anything about recording it, but there are some decent songs on it..."

"By the time we got around to 'Black and Blue,' I was mixing a devilish brew of heroin and cocaine - so I've been told."

"When we toured America in 1981, we had a corporate sponsor. I recently asked Mick about that..."

You get the picture.

Moreover, you really have to wonder just how candid Richards' autobiography will be. Even though it probably won't be on bookstore shelves until well after Richards' 65th birthday (which will happen Dec. 18, 2008), he hasn't given any indication that he's going to hang up his guitars and retire to some remote English castle anytime soon. So I wouldn't expect him to throw gasoline and matches on too many bridges.

Besides, the Rolling Stones have been exhaustively chronicled over the years. Insiders have written their warts-and-all recollections, former bassist Bill Wyman has published a couple of sets of memoirs, and the oral history "According to the Rolling Stones" arrived a few years ago. It's hard to imagine that there could be any more earth-shaking revelations.

There's no doubt that Richards' autobiography will be a "a rock 'n' roll book." But the greatest of all time? I doubt it.

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