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Voting's easier after omelets
Mrs. Attila the Hun once said that. I believe in her sage advice, and I'm not the only one who listens to Alice (the Hun). The folks at the Lone Pine Volunteer Fire Department Community Building, where I have voted in the past few most important elections of my lifetime, are steadfast believers in the full stomach theory.
They serve breakfast.
I've voted many times over the past 30 years and must admit that on more than one occasion felt as though I was choosing the lesser of two evils.
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It's the lack of competent candidates that puts a bad taste in my mouth.
Like casino dwellers, I often have felt as though my life savings was riding on one pull of the lever. That's way too much pressure to put on a decision made after woofing down a skimpy Pop Tart and a cup of weak Taster's Choice.
Thank goodness the folks at my polling place know that to make America great, voters need a home-style meal. Each year, I show up with proper identification and four dollars. In return, I once again save the world and, more importantly, eat a good breakfast. This year it was a ham and cheese omelet (real ham, not that processed fast-food crap) and truckers' coffee, guaranteed to give feeble minds like mine the wits to figure it all out.
I told the ladies behind the counter at the VFD they should open for business year round, not just on Election Day. I was summarily invited to bingo, when, it was explained, the menu expands to include hot dogs and taco salad.
Add the voting experience to the list of events that are run better here in our neck of the woods. Once again, this election I was happy to show up and catch up with neighbors I see at weddings, funerals, gas lease meetings and on the first Tuesday in November.
Compare that to where my wife and I used to live. In the suburbs of Pittsburgh, at our last polling place, voting was as cold and impersonal as most government-run activities. I was as excited to cast a ballot as I was to apply for a driver's license.
Here, in Lone Pine, people try hard to remember that we, in fact, are the government.
In our idea of government by the people and for the people, the people get to choose from a breakfast menu before deciding the country's future direction.
After munching and voting, I was handed a flag sticker that reads "I Voted." I stopped for gas on the way home and as I walked into the station to pay, the woman behind the counter handed back my change and said, "You didn't need that sticker to tell anyone you voted."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"You've got some omelet in your beard."
Mrs. Attila the Hun (Alice) would be proud.
To hear Scott Paulsen's column, visit www.observer-reporter.com. He can be heard each weekday afternoon from 3-7 p.m. on 1250 ESPN Radio.
