Networking your way to success: What makes a good networker?

By Dr. Stephanie Urchick

Some people know what networking is. Many don’t. For some, it is an unconscious behavior; for others, it is a conscious effort. When done correctly and consistently, networkers may find hundreds of people ready to help them achieve success.

What makes a good networker? Here are four characteristics that good networkers have in common:

Good listening skills

For starters, a successful networker knows that networking is not about him or her; it’s about the other person. Networking is a connecting system, and the communication forces involved are two-way. When you want something from someone, you have to listen to them very carefully. For assertive or impatient people, a tendency to “talk to” rather than to “talk with” may be negatively interpreted.

I recently attended a networking event at a local restaurant. While I knew many people, there were a few new faces. I approached a welldressed man and introduced myself and my business.

He did the same, and then asked me bluntly, “So what can you do for me?” Incredulously, I gave him information about my public speaking coaching practice, which did not seem to interest him (but, wow, could he use it!)

Good verbal and written communication skills

In addition to listening, good networkers must be able to translate ideas into easy-to-understand language. They can put thoughts into words quickly. Social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter take networking to new heights, but have the same requirements for getting your point across.

Social media sites provide unprecedented access to millions. In the past month, I found interesting postings about career opportunities through a LinkedIn group, and connected with several other motivational speakers in the Pittsburgh region with whom I’ll be soon meeting. Who says social media is a time-waster?

Assertiveness

Good networkers are reach-out individuals. They like meeting other people, are comfortable and secure with themselves, have a great “elevator speech” (brief introduction of self) and are not afraid to initiate contact. They work a room like their life depends on it.

At that same networking event I mentioned above, I watched a group of young men enter the venue. They stopped at the registration table together; they went to the beverage station together; they moved through the buffet line together; and they went upstairs to view the conference room together. The only interaction they seemed to have all evening was with each other. All four missed the opportunity to connect with other folks through networking.

Inquisitiveness, creativity and social intelligence

One of Rudyard Kipling’s famous poems, “I have five servants, tried and true. Their names are what and when and where and why and who,” is a good starting point for successful networkers. Be inquisitive about people, places and situations; find people and information, research, solve problems, promote yourself, and organize and refine the network you’ve built.

In his book “Social Intelligence,” bestselling author Daniel Goleman delivers the powerful idea that humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation and altruism, provided those capabilities are developed and nurtured. He contends that individuals are designed for sociability, making good networking encounters act like vitamins for our journey to success.

Embracing these four characteristics means people will remember you every time. With practice, you will become a people magnet. You’ll turn casual acquaintances into an ever-growing circle of personal contacts. Expertise with almost any type of issue will be at your fingertips. You will spend less time, money and effort to gain new clients, patients or customers. Your social life will expand.

Networking is serious business. Yes, you do it to achieve some level of success. But it should also be a fun, and not painful, process. Everyone can get better at it, since we are “wired to connect.” Use the four characteristics as a guide, and have fun networking yourself to success.

Dr. Stephanie Urchick is executive director of the Southpointe CEO Association and president of PlatformPoise, Executive Speech Coaching. For information on the next Southpointe CEO Association networking event, visit the website at www.southpointe-ceo.org.

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