In marriage, it’s the little things

July 14, 2013
Photo courtesy of The Piggy Toes.

We’ve all heard it before, “It’s the little things that make me happy,” or “It’s the little things that I love.”

Oh, how those words ring so true to my heart, especially in regard to my relationship with my husband.

In our busy lives – the stressful times, the crazy moments – it’s unfortunate our daily “to-dos” take precedence over doing something little for our spouse. Add a child, or two, or three, and it becomes even easier to forget about those little things. Then, over time, you begin to forget how much they are so needed. The routine sets in, the kids need you, the day is packed with stuff. And trust me, that’s all it is, too … STUFF. But let’s be real. It doesn’t take much to show your spouse that you’re still thinking about them through it all. Not much at all.

This morning, Brian and I woke and immediately began our duties. I nursed baby Mario, Brian poured milk into two green bowls full of cereal for the big boys. I took a shower, got ready and dressed the boys and Brian took a shower, changed Mario’s diaper and loaded the car. The boys were spending the morning with their cousins and we were heading out to see a few homes (we are house hunting!). We barely got in a full conversation through the morning craziness, and we were driving separately so that Brian could head to work afterward. On my way out, I shouted out of the garage, “I’m driving through Starbucks first!”

I dropped the boys off, then drove into the local Starbucks parking lot. I drove up to the speaker, placed my order and drove around to the next window. I pushed my foot on the brake, reached over to the passenger seat and dug into my purse for my wallet. I lifted three diapers, Sophie the Giraffe and my lip gloss to get to it. I turned to the window and reached my hand out to give her my card. I smiled, she smiled, handed me my latte and said, “A wonderful man in a blue car bought you your coffee today, pretty lady! Do you know him?“

Time stopped for a moment. I took a deep breath sniffing the warm summer air and could feel my shoulders relax. I smiled brightly and said, “That’s my husband! Oh I just love him.” She put her hand on the counter and said, “Awe, treat him extra special today!”

I drove out of line and noticed his car up the street by the main road. Here, through my crazy morning, I didn’t even realize he was there, ahead of me in line. I was totally in the kid zone and thinking about our move, the houses we were about to see, my boys’ behavior while we were gone. I was there but must not have really been there (if you know what I mean).

But that little moment, that tiny, little moment just made my heart happy.

We can’t forget to do the little things in our relationships. Not the once-a-year special night out or the one night of week devoted to catching up or the gift-giving or cute greeting cards that are given only because there’s a special occasion, but the easy to do, “I Love You” moments. Those things count. A random text message, surprise flower or housework help done without asking. The unexpected kiss, look or touch - things that we all did when we were dating. It’s important to continue them long into marriage. I’ll be the first to tell you it definitely keeps the spark alive, a twinkle in your eyes and a smile on your face because you know your spouse was thinking of you.

Today, tomorrow, soon - don’t forget,

It’s the little things that count.

Web columnist and local blogger Angelique Lorence is a mother of three boys, a Robert Morris University alumna and resident of Washington County. Visit her personal blog Where the Piggy Toes Go for this column and more on family, food, fashion and everything in between. Follow The Piggy Toes on Facebook and on Twitter: @thepiggytoes.



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