Laura Zoeller

Heading over the hill

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It’s official: I’m getting old.

I say this for several reasons. One, I have taken to using the expression, “Back in my day.” It is one of my children’s favorite things to hear. For example, when they are feeling bad about not having the latest gadget, I tell them that, “back in my day, we had only one thing to play with. We called it the outdoors.” Statements like that really impress my children.

Another reason I say I’m getting old is that I creak like an old screen door when I first climb out of bed in the morning. I make the rusty Tin Man seem like a well-oiled machine before I’ve been up an hour. I groan more than a Halloween mummy until I’ve been on the move awhile. You get the picture, and it’s not one of a young woman. It’s not even an attractive one.

In addition, I find myself no longer liking things that I was certain I would love forever, like going out every Friday night and listening to loud music. (Though, to be fair, it is hard to find a place to go on a Friday night that doesn’t already have a strike against it due to loud music.) But, in general, I would much rather go to lunch than dinner, and then usually to family-friendly locales.

I also have a hard time with much of today’s fashion. I mean, have you tried to buy a pair of blue jeans lately? I can only seem to find pairs called “low-rise” that reveal more of my backside than I would like to show (or America would like to see, I’m sure!) or pairs that have “decorative” holes in them. Why would I want to buy pants with holes in them? I’ve already got tons of those at home.

Despite all of that, I don’t feel old most of the time. Perhaps that means that I’ve figured out who I am. Maybe I know what it is I believe in. Maybe I’m just content with what God has blessed me with. Maybe.

I can tell you one thing for certain. Yes, I like things to be routine. Yes, I’m an old-fashioned dresser. Yes, I tell my kids to turn down their music. Yes, I quote my parents. And I can even predict a change in weather with my right knee better than many of today’s high-priced meteorologists. But I still feel like I can conquer the world. I still want to learn something new every day. I want to meet new people and make new friends. I still want to try new things and visit new places.

These days, I just want to do it before “Jeopardy!” comes on.

Laura Zoeller can be reached at

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