RSS | 
Twitter
| 
Be a fan!
The attack of the Wisp Women
If you guessed three, place a gold star on your forehead.
Actually, the real answer is an even more complicated math problem: on the first night, three bedrooms were used; on the next night two bedrooms were used; and on the last night the whole gang all piled together on a California King.
The aforementioned women decided it would be cuter and more fun if they shared the bedrooms instead of each sleeping in their own beds. It was a giant slumber party replete with chile con queso and Pina Coladas.
Rate This Story:
1 the lowest - 5 the highest
Current rating:
A few days before the ski weekend, Heidi called me up and asked me to join them and I did. Hilarity ensued.
There were no pillow fights or practice French kissing sessions, but there was a lot of giggling. I did hang out on the edge of a few beds laughing and carrying on, but I always retreated to my separate sleeping quarters on another floor of the cabin. We were joined by a few other visitors, but since the girls were sharing there was plenty of space for more guests.
Adult sleepovers are the line of demarcation between the sexes. No man gets into to bed with anyone unless they're up to something naughty. A straight guy isn’t going to have any male friends sleep over. The only exception to this rule is when a buddy is so slobber-knockered he passes out on your couch. There would be no bed sharing, unless the aforementioned straight guy isn’t completely straight about being straight.
I have noticed that women go to nightclubs and dance with each other. Heterosexual men do not ask their friends out on the dance floor. For some reason, weddings seem to be exempt from this rule (maybe because bride and groom have already paid the bar tab).
In my travels, I have also noticed that girls will make out with each other to get the attention of a man. It doesn’t work out in reverse. You will never see a guy turn to a friend and say, “Hey Tom, that chick is looking over here. Quick, let’s make out!” It has happened at a few bars in Shadyside, but the kissing couple really wasn’t seeking the attention of the girl who was watching them.
There are a lot of theories on the difference between the sexes. Overall I think a woman can do anything a man can do, except pee standing up. There are, however, a few things women can do that men can’t, and one of them is having an adult slumber party.
Guys, you don’t know what you’re missing.
Mike Buzzelli has performed his standup routine at places on the Left Coast like The Comedy Store and The Ice House, before relocating to Western Pennsylvania. And he has plenty of writing experience, to boot.
Hoping... : 2/22/2010
Part of me still wants to believe that there really was a pillow fight in that ski lodge. Oh, well...
Women Have All The Fun : 2/22/2010
Thanks for the arithmatic lesson. Loved it. the arithmatic lesson. This is perhaps the best column yet. As a feminist I support your theory that women can do everything as good or better than men but you are wrong on one detail. Women can and do use the restroom standing up. The female bonding is just like those house gatherings you talked about last week: they're both a one way street.
Wanna Be a Wisp Woman : 2/22/2010
I loved this! I have done this with many a girlfriend and my sisters! You must be the card carrying best guy friend to catch this glimpse...this makes me miss home and all of my long distance girls!
Wisp Woman Wanna Be : 2/22/2010
This made me miss the slumber parties with my real friends and my sisters...you must be a card carrying "best guy friend" to get to hang with the chicas! I love the way you write Michael!
Wisp Woman Repellent : 2/23/2010
Michael has done it once again leaving me defenceless in a ball of laughter until milk squirts out my nose. His column filled with realism humor is the highlight of my week. Having and still being the token guy who the women always avoid like the plague I never knew what they did in these groups. Thanks for piercieng the veil er bed sheets of secrecy. By the way, the cherry pillow of this slumber party column was the arithmetic lesson.
: 2/23/2010
Great article Mike. Funny and informative. Thank you.
wisp women : 2/24/2010
Hilarious! So true. Poor straight guys.
Wisp Women : 2/24/2010
Lucky ladies - for their trip and hanging with you - Funny guy!
- Keep it civil and stay on topic.
- No profanity, vulgarity, racial slurs or personal attacks.
- Comments that harass others or joke about tragedies will be deleted.
- Keep it brief and turn off all caps.
- No URLs.
