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Everything new is old again
Dear Bowling for Soup, Debbie isn’t the only one stuck in 1985.
I loved the '80s. I was rocking out, living large and things were totally tubular. Yeah, we were being trickled down on by Reaganomics, but we rocked and rolled all night and partied every day.
Then the future happened. No one was looking at us in 1984, we didn’t party like it's 1999, and there was no space odyssey in 2001. As many older people have oft lamented before me, “It’s the future and there are no jet packs or flying cars.”
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Suddenly it’s today, and I’m listening to Go Go’s and I am hanging out with friends discussing the oxymoronic appellation “Classic Pop.” Can any of this stuff we listened to actually be considered classic? Our lips are sealed.
I remember the day some teenager turned to me and said, “What’s an album?” I explain that in the ancient times we played music by sticking a needle on big black vinyl discs as they spun around and around, right round, on the record player, right round. The teen recalls seeing them on “That '70s Show.” I am, of course, mortified by his sudden revelation.
Flashback: I’m 10 years old again in the back seat of my parents' car, my dad is smoking non-filtered Camels and the windows are rolled up, and we’re listening to oldies. My little brother is kicking the back of my dad’s fine Corinthian leather (there were no car seats). My mom is complaining about her beloved Elvis Presley being called an “oldie.”
I’m Jailhouse Rocked back into the present. In my head, I have a vision of the Ouroboros, the mythological serpent who swallows his own tail, and I have a revelation of my own, an asp slap, if you will; everything is cyclical.
When my mom was checking into Heartbreak Hotel, she never thought that she would be forty-something with three kids fighting in the backseat of the Chrysler Cordoba listening to the same music and being told it was old.
Someday someone, maybe the aforementioned teenager who barely remembers the word album, will be driving his own children around and the Black Eyed Peas will come on the radio and his kids will bitch and moan about being forced to listen to old people’s music. “Imma be” sad, because Fergie Ferg won’t be kicking it from the 21st century into infinity.
The saddest part is it will be the future and they won’t have jet packs or flying cars, either. The future will be like every other future. It will just be there like every other day, but everybody will be older.
If I live to see that day, I will still be kicking it old school, Holmes.
Mike Buzzelli has performed his standup routine at places on the Left Coast like The Comedy Store and The Ice House, before relocating to Western Pennsylvania. And he has plenty of writing experience, to boot.
Hilarious : 4/5/2010
I love it...so true...and who knows? Fergie Ferg might still be kickin' it then...Lord knows she's lasted this long!
Party Like It's 1999!! : 4/5/2010
I can totally relate even though we are a generation apart. As a former teacher and someone who is too damn old to be where I am, I get people asking me all the time what's a zine or a 7 inch? I never thought I would see the day when REM and Nirvanna would be considered classic rock. Loved your humorous perspective on things. I'm still spinning those black circles with you. Lets hope that disposable pop music evolves beyond Black Eyed Peas though.
Old Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Still : 4/5/2010
I found myself shaking my head in agreement to this column...just like my mom used to do! Yikes! Fergie just may be like Madonna...the fossil that never stops kickin' it...Madonna, Fergie and the cockroaches...the only thing to survive the nuclear fallout!
Oh So True Mike! : 4/5/2010
Try having a 30 year old "kid"...who says geez Mom you really like the music NOW??!!! Why not? Yes I LOVED the music of the 80's....and my kids bopped in the back seat to it....luckily I have a here and now mentality...I will not agree to the term "old"....cause then I would have to be put in that catagory!
To President of Fan Club : 4/6/2010
Count me in - I loved this blog, and I will still love Huey Lewis, Eddie Money and the Peas when I'm REALLY REALLY OLD!
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