Laura Zoeller

Column Laura Zoeller

Laura Zoeller is a farm wife and mother who has been blessed with a wonderful and funny - life.
23

May 2017

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Cutting it down to size

Cutting it down to size

We are nearly finished with our firewood supply for this fall. We typically burn between six and eight cords each winter, depending on how cold it gets. And that old adage, “Firewood warms you twice,” is definitely true. Cutting, splitting and hauling firewood definitely warms you the first time.

Late this winter, during one of the wet periods (that is not very specific, considering how wet the whole winter was), a large tree fell into the pasture behind the house, pulled clear up at the roots. Then, my husband spent a few weeks pulling downed logs out of our woods and dragging them into the open where they could be more safely and efficiently cut and split. However, before he could begin cutting and splitting them, he had open-heart surgery and became quite limited for the duration of the spring work.

One Sunday after he made it home from the hospital, one of our friends showed up with chainsaws and fuel and headed up on the hill where the logs were. After a few hours, he had half of those trees cut into chunks.

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16

May 2017

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A turkey walks into a store ...

It couldn’t have played out better if I had written it myself. He walked into my life last week, completely unexpected and largely undesired, but I just knew I had to take him home.

Let me back up a little.

He actually waddled into the store where I work, and I just knew I had to take him home. OK, maybe I had better back up a lot.

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08

May 2017

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Stuck in phone purgatory

Our middle daughter turned 15 last month, and we decided to get her a cellphone as her gift. As we did with our oldest daughter, we told our middle girl the gift includes the phone and three months of cellphone service before it becomes her financial responsibility.

On her actual birthday, we wrapped up a phone that a friend had given us to give to her. It was a newer model iPhone, and her excited squealing met our expectations. I promised to activate it the following day so she could make her first call or send her first text.

I attempted an online activation, and it wouldn’t work. My sister, who is far more tech-savvy than I, looked the phone over and told me the reason for the challenge was the phone was locked to a phone service other than mine.

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01

May 2017

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Emergency creamer deficiency

I was on my way to work when I remembered there was a problem at the store. Not with the actual store, mind you, but in the break room. It was a significant problem that had me questioning whether or not I could actually complete my day. You see, I had finished the bottle of coffee creamer in the fridge last week. Gasp!

I don’t drink much coffee; really only a cup or two a day. And I typically only drink decaffeinated. Some folks may ask me what the point of drinking decaf even is. For me, it’s the routine of the thing. I love to get up, drink a cup of coffee and read my Bible or the paper. Or, I will sip the warm liquid as I drive to work in the cool mornings. But excess caffeine upsets my stomach, so I drink the wussy stuff.

Also, I have come to enjoy my coffee more when it has flavored creamer in it. But not powdered creamer, because it gives me heartburn. And never hazelnut, rarely chocolate, and seldom the exotic flavors. Let’s get real for a second. I actually only like the family of caramel flavors. OK. I hear you. I’m a veritable coffee snob, and I’m not really even drinking coffee at this point, am I? I get it. I can take your judgment.

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