Nov 27, 2020 4 min read

During the fall holiday season, many families get together to enjoy dinner. Often, two subjects to avoid are politics and religion, areas where people have very strong feelings and you will probably not change minds.

Surprisingly, a study by Wells Fargo found that personal finance is the most difficult subject to talk about. It got a 44% difficulty rating, while politics scored 35% and religion was 32%.

Not surprisingly, the study shows that 71% of adults learned the importance of saving from their parents. Yet, barely more than one-third of today’s parents report discussing money savings with their children on a regular basis.

Being on the same page as your spouse on money matters is very important. Financial issues are among the biggest reasons for divorce. If debt and savings are areas of conflict, it is important to try to resolve them before the holiday shopping season revs up.

Sometimes, families decide that instead of buying something for all of the older family members, have a Secret Santa drawing in which you buy only for the person whose name you pulled out of a hat. You could set a gift cost maximum so family members do not spend over their budgets.

College debt is a major challenge for many today. It is causing Millennials to delay marriage and buying a house. Many will not receive a pension when they retire.

These challenges will make their lives more difficult. Encourage these family members to save in their 401(k). Encourage them to at least contribute enough to get the whole employer match. It is hard to turn down free money.

Sometimes, I hear of parents gifting money to their children to fund a Roth. This way they get to have some retirement money growing without hurting the child’s cash flow.

If your children are experiencing excessive credit card debt, explain how much they will have to pay if they are making only minimum payments. Maybe you can help them develop a budget to better understand their spending.

It is important for boomers to be able to discuss financial issues with their parents. Some parents may become confused as they age. If you observe that your parents are forgetting things, such as taking medicine, you may want to help. Maybe they need help tracking what bills are due. Sometimes they pay the same invoice more than once.

Older Americans are often the target of identity theft. Make sure your parents understand some of the most popular scams, such as individuals pretending to be from the Internal Revenue Service and saying they will send the police if you do not immediately send money.

The IRS will not just call; they send a series of letters by the U.S. Postal Service. They do not use email or send the police. Make sure no one you know gives his or her SS number to anyone who calls.

It is important to be sensitive when you bring up financial issues with a family member. Do it in a private setting. If you need an excuse, blame it in your financial planner. You can say I was discussing these subjects with my planner, who thought it was important to go over with family members.

This talk may be the best gift you can give.

Gary Boatman is a Monessen-based certified financial planner and the author of “Your Financial Compass: Safe passage through the turbulent waters of taxes, income planning and market volatility.”

To submit columns on financial planning or investing, email Rick Shrum at rshrum@observer-reporter.com.