Sunshine on a cloudy day
It’s only been June for one whole week, and I already have sunburn. I really should have clipped some sunscreen coupons out of last Sunday’s edition. I have a few reddish areas on my back and arms, and other areas (nothing unseemly).
I know I’m supposed to know better. I’m supposed to wear copious amounts of lotion with SPF 30 or higher. I don’t like wearing the lotion; even the non-greasy stuff feels greasy to me. Plus, I was the only one at the pool this weekend who didn’t smell like a ripe coconut, and I’m proud of it. I may also be the only one who couldn’t sit down on the short ride home. I burned the back of my knees. Sitting wasn’t easy. Ouch, sweetie, ouch.
It didn’t even make sense to me, really. I got the sunburn on an overcast day. I’m like one of the Temptations. I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. Actually, sunshine got me, and then it showed me who’s boss.
You know where it hurts the worst? I’ll give you a hint. I’ve been riding the fast train to Bald Mountain, but my hair got off a few stops ago. My curly, auburn locks used to protect my head from sunburn, but they locked up and left. My head was unprotected. I’ve burned my scalp. The top of my head is as red as a baboon’s butt.
A baseball cap would have taken care of the problem, but I just don’t look good in hats. I look like someone is trying to squeeze a balloon over my head.
I may have exacerbated the problem when I flipped my glasses up to read. My theory is the lenses acted like a magnifying glass, shooting a laser beam onto my skull. If an ant had been walking across my forehead, he would have caught fire. I guess the prescription is so strong they’re like binoculars. I can’t see far away, and by far away I mean anything past my outstretched arm.
Baldness and glasses! Sunburn is the least of my problems. I’m getting old.
Both afflictions can be attributed to my age, but I’m still in my 40s. People over 50 try to convince me otherwise. I hear them say, “You’re still young!” I should mention that these people are WAY over 50. The last woman who thought I looked young got a birthday greeting from Willard Scott and the friendly people at Smuckers. Seriously, she was 102 years old (I had to interview the centenarian-plus lady for a local website). She also thought I was cute, but I think your vision is the first thing to go. Ask my optometrist.
Getting out of bed with sunburn was also painful. I have been moving gingerly. I accidentally scratched my head earlier today, and I screamed in pain. I am going to slather aloe vera on my bald pate. I hope I didn’t buy the kind with coconut oil extract.
I may be old, but I have a healthy glow.