Jun 28, 2013 3 min read

I love summer. Ask anyone. However, it comes at a price. I don’t mind the heat. I don’t mind the humidity. I don’t even mind the bugs. There is only one pernicious problem that infiltrates every aspect of my perfectly happy summer: those pesky orange cones. Those orange construction cones are everywhere. I counted 35 on my way home today. There’s an old joke about Pittsburgh. It has only three seasons: fall, winter and construction. Truer words and all that.

I realize a lot of work has to be done to maintain our streets. Do they have to do it all on the same day? I was going over to a friend’s house, and there was a lane closure, a bridge was out and another whole street was blocked off for a street fair. I was rerouted twice. The second detour took me the long way around. It took 40 minutes to go seven miles. Of course, I was already late, but I didn’t want to be that late. It was so frustrating. I would have pulled my hair out if I wasn’t afraid of losing my last remaining follicles.

In the winter, I always pad my arrival and departure times when I’m going anywhere. You just never know. In Pittsburgh, I have to do it in the summertime, too.

I haven’t been anywhere on time since April.

I hate when they close a lane. First of all, there is the mile of orange cones. I am thinking we could probably figure it out with fewer cones. Second of all, it moves quickly when everybody abides by the “every other car” rule.

You want to see me pop a vein in my forehead? Be the second car to pull out in front of me when it’s my turn to merge. I let one car pass; not two. You know it’s not your turn. Don’t do that! If I was in my old, beat-up Saturn, I probably would have just gone for it and slammed into them. I have pulled out in front of people who have tried to sneak past me. I’ve almost been in three wrecks since construction cone season started. I want a bumper sticker that says, “I play by the rules; you should, too!” Only because I realized my original choice, “Merge like an adult,” was a double entendre. You people have dirty minds.

Last summer, they were working on two streets by my house. There are about three ways to the street where I live, and two of them were blocked by road crews. It was infuriating. I expected a piece of cheese after navigating the maze to my home.

I do appreciate them for their job. My street has just been paved, and it’s smooth down my hill.

I’m not wishing for September to be here anytime soon, but I sure wish the construction crews would move over to some streets I don’t use.