Honoring those not with us
For many of us, the holiday season means settling in with our families, meeting up with friends, exchanging gifts, eating well and raising glasses to the year past and to the year to come.
We go to sleep feeling secure, hoping to wake with the same sense of well-being that enveloped us the night before.
This time of the year, when white lights illuminate neighborhoods, there are families who feel such overwhelming sadness and hopelessness that no amount of light can seemingly penetrate the darkness brought on by the loss of a loved one.
For many families, there will be an empty chair at the table this year. A place that is not filled. And we should remember.
At 7 p.m. Dec. 9, a nondenominational memorial service called “The Empty Chair: A Time for Remembrance” will be held in the First Christian Church, Morris Street, Waynesburg.
The Rev. Donald P. Wilson and Michael Hasselbring, minister of the host church, will officiate.
This annual event is sponsored by GriefShare, a support group for those touched by the loss of a loved one. This will be the eighth “Empty Chair” service, which began in 2006 with a meeting of families of homicide victims.
The service will include posting pictures on a remembrance board, lighting memorial candles and decorating a Christmas tree with memory stars.
Cherie Rumskey, coordinator of Greene County’s witness/victim program, said this year there will be five candles lit, representing grief, courage, memory, love and hope.
“It doesn’t matter whether someone died 25 years ago or last week,” Rumskey said. “Anyone who has lost a loved one by any means is most welcome to attend. The empty chair is not limiting,” she said.
Following the service will be a time for refreshments, during which families can share personal experiences, pictures and stories. “I think that time of fellowship is the most important part of the service,” she said.
And this will be the ninth year an empty chair has been visible at Christmas at the Seybold house in Waynesburg.
Sandy Seybold lost her 21-year-old son, Chad, on Nov. 18, 2004, in an alcohol-related traffic crash.
Since then, she has reached out to others who have lost loved ones, and was recognized in 2008 by the state Commission of Crime and Delinquency with the Survivor Activist Award at the Governor’s Victim Service Pathfinder Awards banquet.
Seybold makes Christmas ornaments to give to those who attend the service. Last year, she made beaded angels and this year she will make angels from ribbons that can be used either as pins or as a Christmas ornament.
Seybold has created grief baskets with poetry, journals, picture frames and other soothing items, memory DVDs and comfort blankets to give to families of murder victims. She also attends court hearings and trials to provide emotional support to the victims’ families.
I have been amazed at Seybold’s courage. I remember one year asking her how this service helps her. She said you make that connection with others, and you don’t feel so alone.
And having the service at a church seems the right thing to do. A church is a comforting place to be for most people. It’s a welcoming place, a place to be safe.
Jon Stevens is Greene County bureau chief. He can be reached at jstevens@observer-porter.com.