Oct 23, 2014 3 min read

While looking around for more problems to blame on social media, I came up with a good one.

Teenagers don’t make plans anymore, for anything.

It was coming up on homecoming weekend, and the town was all atwitter (aTwitter, actually) about the dance. Did he ask her? Why did she say no? Who was his backup plan? What am I supposed to wear? Did you find my silver sandals yet?

The only question directed at me was the last one. In preparations for the big night, my daughter made it as far as the outfit and then stopped. She’d bought the dress, found a hairstyle on Pinterest and spent exactly 14 seconds looking for the shoes, in vain.

“What are the plans for Saturday night?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“Are you all meeting at someone’s house for photos?”

Shrug.

“In the past, you’ve all gone to dinner somewhere before the dance. Will you be doing that this time?”

Shoulders rise up and then drop down. Silence.

Now, I know in the bigger scheme, this is not a crisis. Teenagers have a way of getting to where they want to go, looking more or less like they want to look, without a lot of adult intervention. But …

“Keep in mind you’re going to need a ride,” I said.

“We don’t know anything yet,” she said.

Did I mention this conversation took place the night before the dance?

When I was in high school, I didn’t go to the homecoming dance, but if I had, I would have had the dress (pink gingham, which is probably why I didn’t get asked) laid out three weeks in advance. By two weeks prior, I would have the pre-dance festivities planned with royal wedding-like precision: who was going with whom, what time would we all meet and where, which parent would drive us there, which other parent would pick us up after. These things were too important to be left to chance.

But there was no Twitter then, no Instagram, no Facebook. People had to actually talk to each other to make plans – engaging in the give-and-take that requires listening and consideration, not to mention eye contact. Maybe back then, as in my house, so many family members were sharing the one telephone line that to wait until the day before meant plans might be mixed up or scuttled altogether.

Now, plans are made with three-word exchanges, typed with two thumbs.

I’m guessing my daughter’s texts went something like this:

My house before?

Don’t know yet.

Ashley said her house.

What’s Amanda say?

IDK

Your mom driving?

I guess

What time’s dance start?

Not sure

OK, LMK, TTYL, LOL.

I’m not sure, but judging from that, I think everybody was gathering at my house beforehand for photos, and I think I was supposed to drive.

And that’s how it went that night. Everybody looked bedazzled and happy. They made it to the dance on time. But not before one little crisis.

It was the morning of the dance.

“I looked everywhere,” my daughter said. “Do you know where my silver sandals are?

I shrugged.