Behind the eight ball
I didn’t like my horoscope today, so I consulted a second opinion. It didn’t work. Whoever runs that racket has the same garbage up on each page. I went to my horoscope for the following day. When I learned things would be better tomorrow, I was satisfied.
It wasn’t necessarily bad news, but news I didn’t want to hear, like, “You need to focus today. Be free of distractions. You’re going to need your A game.”
First of all, I was looking up horoscopes, I was already distracted. No one boots up the computer just to look at their daily horoscope.
It was a circuitous route. Distraction No. 1: I went there from “Furthest Known Galaxy in the Universe discovered!” By the way, this can only be true until they find the NEXT furthest known galaxy in the universe, which could be any day now.
Distraction No. 2: I then read an article about J.J. Abrams. It also had a tangential astronomical connection, as it had to do with “Star Wars.”
Distraction No. 3: The Daily Libra. Our future is in the stars. Apparently, I had a theme night with my Internet distractions, space, stars and Deathstars.
When I was a kid, I always wanted a Magic Eight Ball. I never had one. I always had to go over to a friend’s house for a consultation. The ball always knew. Unless it said, “Ask again later,” which was the most annoying thing the black ball could say. I hated that. If I had the patience to ask again later, I wouldn’t be asking the question right now. I once had three straight, “ask again later” responses. I think I learned my lesson because I didn’t ask it again after that.
I don’t really believe a little white, plastic, icosahedral die floating in dark blue dye knew the future. That’s crazy! Except when it was right. You know I would shake the thing until I got the answer I wanted, which was usually, “Most definitely yes!” That way, there was no wiggle room.
As a kid, I didn’t realize there was a 21-sided die inside the ball. Ten of the answers were positive, six were neutral and five were negative. Odds were in your favor. Most people pose questions that garnered yes answers. Woe betide anyone who asked a negative question, such as, “Am I a jerk?”
“Without a doubt.”
Ouch, Magic Eight Ball, that hurts.
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the future; Not the “Beam me up, Scotty” kind. No, I was worried about the next day, the next week and the next year. Most of my questions had to do with love and money. I don’t remember having a lot of either back then.
When I pondered the future, I remember thinking, “Someday I will be 30!”
I’m looking at that day in the rear view mirror – with binoculars! One day, and I can’t pinpoint when, I decided to stop worrying about the future.
No matter what happens, I’m going to be fine with the future. After all, I’m going to ask for a second opinion anyway.