It’s normal to be afraid
Q.Should I be afraid? I live in an area of town where shootings have taken place. Last weekend, someone I knew overdosed on heroin. I’m not involved in drugs. I don’t even own a gun. This is real to me. I know you can’t fix it. I’m just glad you’re here when I call. Why won’t people make this stop?
14-year-old
Mary Jo’s response: Your text is a wake-up call. Thank you for reaching out.
Fear is a normal reaction to danger. Living in an area where shootings are real is frightening. A personal connection to someone who nearly dies because of a heroin overdose is terrifying. As an adult, I apologize. This shouldn’t be happening to you.
Fear is also a normal human response. Feeling frightened isn’t necessarily bad. Fear can inspire us to action, help us stay focused and make us feel alive. Controlled fear – like in a horror movie – is often healthy. The fear you’re describing isn’t positive, but can be reframed to make something good happen. You wrote to me. Fear moved you to do something. Your question “Why won’t people make this stop?” inspires me. Many adults are trying to make this stop. More should try to get involved. Community groups are working together. Any adult interested in helping should email me.
You’re not alone. Most young people aren’t involved with drugs or violence. In my experience, many teens face very difficult situations. They show uncommon courage on a daily basis. There are no easy answers for social problems, but I can offer some thoughts on how you can set a positive course for your life.
1. Make goals and keep them: Set short-term goals first. School is starting. Start with weekly goals. Attend school every day. Stay on top of assignments. Keep your grades up.
2. Build on your self-confidence: Every day you avoid risk is a triumph. Be proud of your choices.
3. Stay close to your family: I know you have a good relationship with your mom. Keep talking with her. She is your best ally. Share your thoughts, your fears and your feelings with her.
4. Connect with others: Select trusted adults in your life to support and guide you. I am honored to be one of those adults. I am here.
5. Choose your friends wisely: It’s easier to remain drug-free if your friends are drug-free.
6. Get involved with school clubs, sports, church/synagogue or Scouting and stay involved: Staying busy with risk-free activities can lead to opportunity.
7. Do things that feel good: Enjoy music, sports, time with friends. Look for and find joy in life.
8. Have faith: Continue to stand strong for what you believe.
The situations you describe are adult problems, but young people can be part of the solution. Join our peer educator group and teach other teens to make healthy choices. You can be a role model and mentor.
You have the right to feel safe. I’d like to meet with you and your mom. Let’s connect you with adults who are truly trying to stop violence and drug abuse. Good luck.
Peer Educator response: More teens are like you than there are teens getting into trouble. Come to our Common Ground Teen Center and hang out. It’s a safe place. Monday to Friday, 3 to 7 p.m., 53 N. College St., Washington. We will welcome you. Peer Education meetings are every Thursday from 5 to 7 p.m.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email at podmj@healthyteens.com.