Darn that stairwell
When I leave work, I take the stairs for two reasons. One, I heard that you expend just as many calories going down the steps as you do going up. I’ll take any extra expenditure of calories I can. Two, it’s much faster than the elevator. When I’m trying to catch the bus, I don’t want to stop on each floor. Inevitably, the elevator will stop on the second floor and someone will hold the door open as they wait for their friend to get her hat and gloves on.
In common vernacular, “I ain’t got time for that.” I’m so street.
The stairs, as in most office buildings, let you in but not out. They are exit only. It’s not quite an ivory tower, but once you’re in the stairwell, you’re committed to going all the way to the ground floor and out. There are no other choices.
I was bouncing down the stairs at 5 o’clock when a colleague came into the stairwell, also on his way home. He turned to me and said, “I have to ask you a question.”
I smiled and said, “It better not be about work. I’m on my way home.”
He laughed and proceeded to ask me a work-related question. In my head, I was going, “Seriously?” But in reality, I was ambushed with no way of escaping. Darn that one-way stairwell. Frankly, I was in a rush and probably wouldn’t want to have answered a personal question either. At 5, I just want a question that can be answered with one word. A question like, “How are you?”
“Fine.” Done in one. I might even follow it up by a “See ya tomorrow,” or “Have a good weekend” depending on the proximity of Friday.
My jocular personality prevents me from sounding menacing or threatening in any way but, if I had laser beam eyes, he would have been a smoldering puddle on those stairs.
My only recourse was to answer him, but I tried to do it in a passive-aggressive way. I jovially answered his question, but I kept moving.
Then, he hit me with a follow-up question.
A good mind-reader would have heard the second, “Seriously?”
The next thing you know, I’m on the street corner explaining company policy. I could have put a hat down and had people throw change into it as I discussed marketing, branding and company cost-cutting measures.
I ended with, “Send me an email tomorrow, during regular hours, and I can help you out.” See: passive-aggressive.
I missed my bus. I was able to get the next one 15 minutes later, but, and you may already know this, it was cold outside. The next day, no email came. If a question is important enough to ask me at 5, it should have been good enough to ask me from 9 a.m. to 4:59 p.m. the following day.
At 5, I walked to the stairs. I had my hand on the door, when I turned around and took the elevator. And yes, it stopped on every floor, and I missed the bus. I’m just going to plan on getting the later one.