Jan 20, 2015 4 min read

I welcome each new year for its endless possibility. Not the possibility of things becoming better, but the possibility of people finding previously unknown ways to look stupid.

Now, I’m not saying I never look stupid – it took me roughly 40 years to realize the Palmolive soap brand drew its name from combining the words “palm” and “olive.” And I used to drive to the Jersey shore to do my laundry because people told me I should be using Tide. But, as my good friend Angie often says: “That was Zen, this is Tao.” So let’s see – a mere three weeks into 2015 – what heights of stupidity we’ve achieved.

First comes a wonderful example from Hershey Candy Co., owner of the Reese’s peanut butter-and-chocolate line of sweets. No doubt you’ve seen the TV spots for Reese’s Minis, which features the tagline “Perfectly Popable.” What’s wrong with this picture?

“Popable” is not a word; any spell-checking program will tag it as incorrect. What Reese’s was going for is “poppable,” as in “able to be popped.” A definition of pop is “to put or thrust quickly, suddenly, or unexpectedly,” as in, “He popped a grape into his mouth.” “Popable” brings to mind the image of Catholic cardinals throwing Reese’s Minis into the air while the Holy Father runs around, his head tilted back and mouth open, attempting to snag them before they hit the floor of the Sistine Chapel. Extra points for the laziness, sloppiness or downright lack of spelling chops by the advertising mavens involved, the dirty tile floors of whose offices are no doubt “mopable.” Super double points because, although this campaign rolled out almost two years ago, Hershey still hasn’t corrected the ads and, in fact, trademarked “popable.”

The good news is that I have hope for my new line of air freshener for Catholic households: “Popepourri.”

Second place for January goes to Tyndale House, a Christian publisher which last week announced it is withdrawing all copies of “The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven.” First published in 2010, the book recounts the tale of a boy named Alex, who claimed to have died and visited Heaven while in a coma after a car accident at the age of 6. Written under a shared byline with his father, Kevin, Alex’s supposed memoir carries the subtitle “A Remarkable Account of Miracles, Angels and Life Beyond this World.” With sales reportedly surpassing 1 million copies, why did Tyndale decide to pull the book and its associated materials? Because last week, in an open letter to Christian bookstores posted on the “Pulpit and Pen” website, Alex, now 17, recanted his story. “I said I went to Heaven because I thought it would get me attention,” he wrote. What’s wrong with this picture?

First, Alex’s family name is Malarkey. True, names do not necessarily imply trustworthiness. But I have to believe if the father of a 6-year-old boy named I.M. Lai Ying approached publishers with the same story, not one would have accepted the manuscript. So why did Tyndale bite?

Maybe because as a Christian publisher, Tyndale is predisposed to print books that align with its own beliefs. However, Tyndale ignored protests made by Alex’s mother, who claimed the book contained “inaccuracies” and her son was being exploited. Tyndale claimed they receive complaints about many books but don’t pull them from shelves; they finally acted after Alex himself retracted the tale. But, as local news commentator Al Julius used to say, maybe … just … maybe … Tyndale knows the buying clout Christians bring to any market.

Either way, I look forward to reading Alex’s next book, “The Boy Whose Life Became a Living Hell: A Remarkable Account of Imagination, Gullibility and Life Beyond the Bestseller List.”