Aug 6, 2018 4 min read

Let’s talk about the international cabal that’s hiding the real derivation of “Spam.” No, not the hundreds of unsolicited email messages we receive every day. These take their name from a “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” sketch in which Hormel Spam – the canned meat popularized during World War II – is just about the only item on the breakfast menu at a diner. For unknown reasons, when Spam is mentioned enough in the skit, a group of Vikings eating at the diner begin singing:

“Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam

Spammy Spam, wonderful Spam”

I don’t remember ever eating Spam; my sister, who is 12 years older, claims our mother served it. The subject came up last week when we visited. How, I don’t recall; our minds work that way. That Mom served Spam I find logical: money was tight in our family, and my father’s preference for meat was fried bologna or cheap cuts of steak pounded, floured and pan fried until black. Served Spam prepared the same way, he would have swallowed it whole.

In the late ’50s, Mom developed a liking for Armour Star Treet, a canned glob of something that could have been composed of cardboard, sawdust and LePage’s glue, the viscous adhesive we used in school at the time. Yet I loved it. But I also loved Tang, the powdered, orange-flavored drink introduced in 1959 that General Foods famously marketed in 1969 as “the drink the astronauts took to the moon.” Caveat emptor: In 2013, astronaut Buzz Aldrin, second to walk on the moon, said, “Tang sucks.” Aldrin was not the first man to say that, either.

Research conducted via the internet tells me that although both Spam and Treet appeared about the same time – 1937 and 1939, respectively – Treet first received heavy advertising in 1956. One ad featured pianist Hoagy Carmichael (“Stardust”) hawking his “latest composition” – Treet on rye with Spanish onion, hot mustard and horseradish. Let’s thank the food marketing gods that by the time the Fab Four appeared in 1963, Treet was out of favor – we might have seen “Meat the Beatles.”

Hormel also marketed Spam. Its most recent attempt to reinvent the mystery meat mass was with an ad that ran during Super Bowl XVI in 2017 and introduced the slogan, “Don’t knock it until you’ve fried it.” I do; I have.

Full disclosure: Spam is made up of pork, ham and “other ingredients”; Treet is chicken, ham and “other ingredients” – marketing chicanery that means “stuff which, if listed in great detail, would make scrapple seem appetizing.”

But while the origin of the name “Treet” is fairly obvious, whence came Spam? Company information says a relative of a Hormel executive won a contest to name the new product. Otherwise, the company’s lips are sealed tighter than … well, canned meat … as to what Spam means. Various guesses include “spiced ham,” “spare meat” or “shoulders of pork and ham.” GIs referred to it as “specially processed Army meat.” After tasting Spam, my vote goes to “spit it at me.”

As the war spread, so did Spam, almost like a viral infection, but more deadly. Introduced to Hawaii by the U.S. Army, Spam became a sensation with residents of the Aloha State, who reportedly still buy 17 million cans a year. It’s a delicacy featured on restaurant menus there. It’s even a collector’s item. Selling for around $3 off the shelf, the same 12-ounce cans are frequently offered for sale on eBay for $11. For Spamnatics, there’s a Spam museum and an online store with a canjo (a banjo with a Spam can body), a Spam can costume, a skateboard, a pink plush Spam pig, earrings and wine charms – which begs the question: What wine do you serve with Spam? Pig-no Grigio, perhaps?

Consumer alert: Thrifty shoppers who’ve blown their wad on Spam should note that for $7.99, eBay also offers a 338-gram can of “true nomadi? stewed horse meat from Russia.”

Pony up.