Thanks, but no, Thanko
What to do? You’re texting away on your smartphone when, suddenly, your nose hairs become entangled in your fingers. Don’t worry. The Japanese firm Thanko has your back. And nostrils.
Thanko’s Smartphone Nose Hair Cutter ($13) comes with an adapter that makes it suitable for use with iPhone or Android operating systems. Plug the trimmer into your phone’s power port and, voila – nude nostrils! When, you ask, would anyone use such a device? Thanko’s product page explains: “When checking a grooming before heading to a sales representative at a company, nose hair is out! This is … Cool!” Of course!
This explanation set me thinking back on failed job interviews. Did the Pittsburgh Pirates not hire me as a marketing manager back in the ’80s because I had no experience in sports marketing, or because my nose hair looked like last year’s tangled Christmas tree lights?
Whatever the case, I’m sold! The Nose Hair Cutter and many other devices offered by Thanko are examples of what the Japanese call “chindogu,” loosely translated as “the art of inventing ingenious everyday gadgets that seem like an ideal solution to a particular problem but are, in fact, useless.”
Perusing items offered on www.japantrendshop.com pretty much proves the description accurate. For example:
The Kiss Me Meter lets you know if your breath is “Good enough to get, you know, personal? This mini gadget has a simple-to-understand scale measured in hearts. A red broken one means you don’t want to go too near your partner until you get yourself a mint!” Sorry if you have a heavy date: it’s sold out.
The Thumb Extender for Phone Touchscreens ($33) slips over your real thumb, extending it 0.6 inches to handle today’s larger screens. Thanko doesn’t want you to be embarrassed, though: “Thanko are aware that their invention might seem a little strange so they made sure that it looks like a regular thumb. The casual observer may not even realize that in fact you are wearing a “fake” thumb over your digit!” Also great for athletes who, while being carted off the playing field, want to make sure their thumbs-up signal is seen by stadium crowds.
Thanko’s Chin Rest Arm (also sold out) is an adjustable platform that, when clamped to a desk or chair arm, allows you to place your chin on a soft urethane cushion instead of using your neck muscles to keep your head upright. Thanko calls it “a fun office gadget for making your work day more comfortable … you can covertly get some sleep at your desk all while you appear to be looking at your screen.”
The Thanko Electric Armpit Clip-on Cooler Fan ($39) will keep you cool as cucumber sushi, especially if you’re sweating more than usual because you’re worried that the boss will catch you using the Chin Rest Arm. Powered by three AAA batteries, the fan clips to a shirt sleeve to channel fresh air into your steaming pit. Buy one for each arm! Men, supplement with Thanko’s USB Cooling Necktie 3 ($64). “The fan’s USB cord runs right through the tie itself so on the surface you will look basically like any other person at their desk, only so much cooler than your envious colleagues!”
Some things, ya just can’t make up. But Thanko’s success inspired me to coin a new word: “Ugobust.”
Loosely translated: “The inability to resist buying ingenious everyday gadgets that seem like an ideal solution to a particular problem but are, in fact, useless.”