Brand new reruns
They have officially run out of new ideas on television. First, they brought back “Will & Grace.” Now, “Roseanne” is returning. I just read Candice Bergen is reprising her role as “Murphy Brown” on an updated version of that show.
Dan Quayle is going to be so angry.
Side note: Am I the only one who is curious about the whereabouts of former Vice President James Danforth Quayle? He could be anywhere – except the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
But I digress, like I do. I am afraid my curiosity will get the best of me and I will end up watching all of these retreads.
What’s next?
Though I was quite sad when I read Jim Nabors had passed on, I’m slightly grateful we will not be seeing him in an updated “Gomer Pyle, USMC.” Picture it, octogenarian Pyle finally leaves the Marines when he learns his wife, LuAnn Poovy-Pyle, broke her hip. Now, he’s got to take care of the grandkids. Well, Gooooollllllly. That sounds awful.
We could welcome back “Welcome Back, Kotter.” Gabe Kaplan hasn’t been working a lot these days. Give him a bunch of new Sweathogs. Though, John Travolta hasn’t been too terribly busy, either. Vinnie Barbarino could be the gym teacher.
How about “REMASHED”? Just like on “Will & Grace,” the last episode of “MASH” didn’t really happen, either. The Korean War didn’t really end, even though the show was already longer than the actual war. The doctors are still in the tent stitching up soldiers and sending them back to the front. The only difference is, Klinger wears muumuus and support hose. REHASHED!
How about a more realistic version of “The Love Boat” on the Royal Caribbean line? During May sweeps, guest star Gabriel Iglesias stands in line for midnight buffet the whole episode.
Jessica Fletcher is still solving mysteries in “Murder, she dictated to her secretary.”
How about “The Golden Girl – Singular”? At 90, Rose Nyland is still single and dating in Miami. We need to utilize national treasure Betty White while she can still remember her lines.
Will Smith returns as the “Fresh King of Bel Air.” Every prince grows up – ask Simba.
Judith Light and Tony Danza return in “Who really is the Boss? We’ll really tell you this time.”
Maybe “The Grand Dukes of Hazzard”? In the first episode, the General Lee has to be repainted. The Confederate flag is replaced with the Chick-fil-A logo. We find out if Catherine Bach can still pull off short shorts.
Jerry, Elaine and George get out of jail in “Seinfeld.” Cosmo Kramer, of course, would have died in a breakout attempt. He never really could walk through a door properly.
“Malcolm is STILL in the Middle.”
“Freaks and Geeks – The Adult Years.”
James Van Der Beek isn’t working. After a knee injury, the show is now called, “Dawson Creaks!”
I need to stop, because I’m probably giving the network execs some horrible, new/old ideas.