A heated conversation
I have never been a fan of noise. I have ranted against loud TVs in doctor’s offices, in hair salons and at gas pumps.
Side note: Gas Station Television (GSTV) is a real thing. They even have their own Facebook page. I want their slogan to be: “Get pumped for GSTV.” They’re not taking my calls.
But I digress, like I do. I realize the gym is a particularly noisy place to expect quiet, especially with all the grunting and groaning. However, after exercising I enjoy the sauna. I like a quiet, meditational sauna experience. I rejoice when I open the door and it’s empty.
Now, I realize there are other people in the world and they like to talk. I don’t mind the casual conversations.
If the guys are talking politics and/or religion, I get my sweaty butt out of there. Those conversations always get loud. A wise man once said, “The volume of your voice does not increase the validity of your argument.” You’d be surprised by the number of people who don’t know that.
Sometimes the debates get pretty heated. Wink. Wink.
Most of the time, the guys will chat about sports. Does one “chat” about sports? Anyway, I have limited knowledge on the subject and stay out of it.
Just once, I wish the conversation would be about Saturday morning cartoons from the ’80s and ’90s. I’d smoke them.
My point is, people are going to talk. It’s literally like sitting around a campfire. I don’t mind the talking. However, the other day, there was a guy in there with the volume on his phone way up to the maximum setting playing Candy Crush.
Now, I think Candy Crush was a particularly off-putting choice. After exercising why did he want to look at flying lollipops or whatever. I’ve never played Candy Crush and I don’t know if there are flying lollipops, but I imagine players are attacked by brightly colored candy of some sort.
The constant beeping and booping in the sauna was making me crazy (crazier). Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop. Now I know why C3PO is always angry at his kitchen-trashcan-sized pal. He has to listen to that “Beep Boop Beep Boop” all day long from R2D2. That would grind my gears, too.
I gave him serious side eye. I made the “Can you believe this guy” face to the dude on the opposite bench. The other guy was oblivious.
I didn’t speak up.
I have been known to yell at people in the sauna. Every now and then, some guy will open the door and run a mental diagnostic: Is it too crowded? Where will I sit? Is it too hot? Is it not hot enough?
I get really angry when they just hang there, letting all the heat escape and I will yell, “Dude, in or out!”
I just didn’t have the chutzpah to tell this guy to lower the volume button on his game, though. So, I thought I’d tell all of you instead.