Oct 26, 2018 4 min read

There’s a saying in medicine about zebras. If you hear hoof-steps out the window, your first guess should be “horse” and not “zebra.” The zebras in medicine are the weird cases that defy all the normal expectations. In other words, don’t consider the exotic, worst possibilities first.

The same goes for most things. Driving to the gym last night, I heard a scraping noise around my left rear tire. In the three miles it took to get there, I’d diagnosed all sorts of zebras, including bad brakes, a dented bumper, and “I shouldn’t have delayed the oil change.”

Turns out a small tree branch was stuck in the wheel well.

Don’t we all think zebras first? Last week, my iPod stopped charging, a crisis for me; my 250 songs live on there, and I wouldn’t consider exercising without it.

I plugged it into a different wall outlet. Nothing. Tried three more outlets. No charge. I switched to a different charging cord. Still nothing. I was beginning to fear that iPods have a finite shelf life, like pistachio nuts or an open bottle of red wine. Would I have to buy a new one? Do they even make iPods anymore?

I decided to use my iPhone. Transferring the music from my iTunes account to my phone was an hours-long ordeal. The good news is the stress from doing it got me so sweaty I counted it as an aerobic workout and excused myself from going to the gym.

With my music on my phone, I could work out to my songs and also see texts and phone calls. I was feeling all tech savvy until it came time to put in the earphones. Who the heck designed these things? They are huge and also not squishy. Putting the first earbud in gave me the sensation of jamming a basketball into my head.

Now, I’ve been told I have large ears, and one would assume that my ear canal is also largish. But these things would not stay in. I looked at the people on the bikes and treadmills around me, and they all had iPhone earphones in, and none of them struggled the way I was struggling. I’d get them in, would start to pedal and one would pop out, somehow landing inside my shirt. I’d have to stop pedaling to fish it out. Also, I learned that the jawbone’s connected to the ear bone. Each time I chomped down on my Gatorade gum, my right earbud would launch out of my head like a missile.

Use your other earphones, you say? I can’t. They don’t plug into the iPhone, which is stupid because both start with a lower-case i. Things should be compatible.

I needed my iPod. The internet is full of advice about how to repair tech, not all of it reliable. When I couldn’t get the ringer volume on my iPhone to work, I googled the problem. One video told me to buy a new phone. Another showed me the teeny button on the side of the phone that turns up the volume. Who knew?

There were lots of videos about fixing iPods, including the one that said to use a straight pin to clean the lint from the charging port.

Got a pin, poked it in there, and unearthed a small wad of lint, the color of my gray sweatshirt.

Plugged in the charger and Voila! It worked.

So, beware of the zebra. But mostly beware of tree branches, small volume buttons and lint. Lint. Who knew?

Beth Dolinar can be reached at cootiej@aol.com.