Dec 20, 2019 4 min read

The fur ball came with the name Tony. One look and I knew this puppy was definitely not a Tony. I haven’t known many Tonys, and I’m not sure what they look like, but this soft, caramel-colored bit of trouble is not that. And he doesn’t respond to Tony – or any other name yet, so we had work to do.

What should we call this new family member?

So began the hours of conjuring names and spouting names as they popped into our heads and then, when we met a dead-end, searching online for names. We’ve all seen the websites for human baby names, but there are also sites to help you name your dog.

Our daughter got things started.

“Bear,” she said. I liked that.

“But it’s one syllable,” I said. Hard to be cute about that. That was the start of a whole stream-of-consciousness back-and-forth as random names popped into our heads and out of our mouths and into the air around us as we tried them all on for size.

Olaf, Boo, Elroy, Elmo, Bert, Ernie, Barney.

“Those are all character names,” Grace said. It felt like a trip through her early years.

“Guillermo!” That one came out of nowhere. I’ve never known a Guillermo.

“We could call him Mo,” she said.

“Too Three Stooges,” I said, but I liked the ethnic feel of the name.

Diego. Carlos. Pedro. All nice for a little boy, but we never really landed on anything. I don’t remember it taking this long to name Grace, or her brother -whose name, Cooper, has become quite the popular dog name of late. I also know a dog or two named Grace.

“How about a Christmasy name?” said Grace. We went through the entire line-up of reindeer, with no luck. Santa? Elf? Bumble (the abominable snowman from the Rudolph movie)? Grinch? Linus? Snoopy? (You will never go wrong naming your dog Snoopy.)

“Thistle!” I said. The perfect Night Before Christmas name. I was overruled.

This was much easier when we adopted our little sheltie. As we were driving to fetch him, we decided the next sign we saw along the road would be the name.

“Smoothie!” Grace yelled out as we passed a Dairy Queen. And Smoothie he was and Smoothie he is.

In keeping with the frozen dessert theme, I suggested we name this new pup Blizzard. That got two thumbs down.

Some people name their dogs based on personality. I’ve known a Happy, a Pokey, a Sunny and more than a few Peppies. But none of those fit this little guy.

I’ve always favored serious human names for dogs. My beloved Wheaten terrier was Howard. He grew into that name. Before that was Mabel, also perfect. My family had Lucy, Clementine, Winston, Heidi, Sammy, Charlie and Daisy. Dear, gentle Daisy who lived for almost 20 years.

But what about this new puppy that’s rolling around the tile floor? We’ve had him 12 hours and I can already tell he’s going to be a big boy – and a good one. He needs a strong name. I consulted the list of the top 1,000 boy names and narrowed the list to Angus, Fintan, Gulliver, Louis and Silas.

And Waylon.

“Waylon!” I shouted out to the farmer as he stood in the snow with the puppy. He shrugged, which is as close to a thumbs-up as we’ll get on this one. Grace is napping, but when she wakes up, I’m going to present a strong case for Waylon. The name has swagger. I hope she approves.

Because this dog is a Waylon. I’ve named enough dogs to know.