Jul 22, 2019 4 min read

Questions I have, answers I seek:

• Fifty years after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon, why has technology not made “one giant leap for mankind?” Where are the flying cars and robot maids that were envisioned by the creators of “The Jetsons”? Tesla automobiles and the Roomba fall far short.
• Why do we humans take so long to rise to the occasion but so quickly dive to the lowest common denominator with our fellow man?
• When the going gets tough, where do the tough get going to?
• Why do so many of us assume that freedom of speech applies only to ourselves?
• The notorious drug lord “El Chapo” last week was sentenced to life in prison “plus 30 years.” Are they going to let his rotting corpse lie in a cell for three decades after he dies?
• How long will it take for someone to realize that the new Throwflame TF-19 Wasp kit, which allows the builder to attach a fire-breathing nozzle and gas tank to even lightweight drones, can be used for evil purposes? Like burning your neighbor’s garage. Or your neighbor.
• When the cat’s away, what games do mice play? Cheese Wheel of Fortune?
• If we are talking about paying reparations to blacks because of slavery, why are we not also talking about reparations to American Indians, who have suffered at the hands of Anglo-Saxons since the dawn of America? Oh, I know – we let them have those casinos.
• And by the way … why are we not talking about repaying the Jews, Italians, Irish, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Middle Eastern immigrants who were interned, beaten, shot, tarred and feathered, lynched, and otherwise marginalized since they began arriving in the Land of the Free? Oh, I know … we let them have those restaurants and specialty grocery stores. And we made George Takei a sci-fi star.
• A question for men only: Why, if you tell your wife or girlfriend that mashed potatoes are made from potatoes, will she not believe you? But if her friends tell her the moon is made of mashed potatoes, why will she post it on Facebook as fact?
• A Colombian man was arrested at a Barcelona airport last week after attempting to hide about a pound of cocaine under his toupee. Is this where the term “cokehead” comes from?
• Heard a few hip-hop songs at a local restaurant last week that had lyrics openly demeaning to women. If the Beatles had sung, “I want to smack your face,” would they have been as popular?
• Saw a sign at a local bar a few weeks back advertising an upcoming show by “The Baby’s.” The Baby’s what?
• When you say to someone who has just had a haircut, “Oh, your hair looks great!” does it imply that it looked terrible before?
• When you’re happily involved in a relationship, why is it so hard to stop looking at the beautiful young woman wearing the midriff top who is gyrating on the dance floor two feet in front of you? Asking for a friend.