Mar 9, 2019 5 min read

Do you think you are groggy when you first wake up to the sound of that alarm clock going off?

If so, try sleeping for three or four months and then waking up on a cold spring morning without coffee and see how you feel.

As I age, I find myself thinking more and more about hibernation. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to sleep through those long and dreary winter months. Of course, I wouldn’t like missing Christmas or deer season. The latter, of course, being more important to me. Some would call what I have in mind hibernation, others would disagree and call it by another name.

There are many animals in our home state that do just that, sleep away the winter tucked in their bed of sticks, leaves and other various junk. They do not have the luxury of Sterns & Foster but seem to sleep just as well. Take the chipmunk, for instance. Ground squirrels are obligate hibernators, which means they spontaneously, annually hibernate regardless of the temperature outside. The chipmunk, some say, hibernates but that is questionable for the little sassy critter wakes up every two weeks and will appear outside its underground sanctuary looking for a tidbit or two. Hunters are well aware of its presence during the fall hunting season for the little sassy creature lets every animal within a 1,000 miles of me know that I am sitting on a log watching for the buck of a lifetime to pass by. Fat chance of that happening with Mr. Chipmunk around. So there are times I wish he would go hibernate.

Although the fox and the grey squirrel will sleep through a winter storm each will be active all winter long. Both use that beautiful furry tail to curl around their body to keep warm while waiting out the coldest days in their homes.

Then there is the woodchuck, or as most of us call it, the groundhog. He spends his winters sleeping in one of his den areas. He might awaken to go to one of his store rooms for a bit of food or to defecate in another room of his apartment. It is the apartment complex that can cause both it and the landowner much grief for when the tractor passes over the roof of his chamber down comes the tractor and the landowner. The landowner is unhappy and he exiles the chuck to his own happy clover farm where the clover is tender all the time. He often uses the skills of the professional chuck-hunter, like me with my well-worn .220 Swift. Is it any wonder this curmudgeon looks so angry all of the time? He’s overweight, lives in a dirt hole and is shot at by marksmen using outfits costing many hundreds of dollars. Not only that, but all night long there are canines prowling about howling and yapping about what a tasty meal he would make. At least the poor critter doesn’t have antlers that would attract more attention. All that poor hog wants is a mouthful of alfalfa and a good three months of sleep. The gestation period of a groundhog is but 28 days and its breeding season is very short. It would seem he doesn’t want company for very long at any time of the year.

The biggest resident sleeper in Pennsylvania is the Black Bear. Or, at least that is what I have been told. I am hardly the expert that should be consulted about Black Bears and Bear hunting, however, I do believe the newest report is that bears do hibernate. It isn’t quite as deeply as those ground squirrels but scientists have decided it is hibernation of a different sort.

Over the many years I have hunted bears, I have become more and more convinced they are a figment of my imagination. The handful of Blackies I have seen during my lifetime are critters that are just passing through an area. I know that there are many stories about where bears like to do their hibernating. To make it more interesting, bears have been recorded sleeping in the darndest places during the winter. Most people think they hibernate in caves. Well, the perfect cave must be hard to find for just as often they will cuddle up against the root system of a large blowdown or even in some local shed. There are some things though that are consistent. They do give birth while sleeping the winter away and they do not decrease their body temperatures like some hibernators. This means it is easier to wake one up if you happen to stumble upon a denned bear. They still come out if awoken and will eat out of garbage cans and look for an easy meal before returning to bed. Also note that they do climb trees very well, so if you do wake one don’t try that escape route.

Is it any wonder that bears roll around and seem to enjoy life after awaking? They don’t have to suffer through the cold wind, icicles, freezing rain or the stuffy nose of winter like we do. I think I’ll go back to bed, maybe I’ll hibernate.