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Suspension bridges and general dentistry

3 min read

Everyone is afraid of something. I had a long list, but, over the years, I’ve gotten over some of my deepest, darkest fears. For example, I’m no longer afraid of suspension bridges or general dentistry.

I was forced to face my anxiety with frequent road trips and infrequent dental insurance.

I’ve white-knuckled it on quite a few bridges now. I’ve also gripped the dentist’s chair so hard I’ve left marks. Those fingerprints in the leather armrests are mine.

I’ve driven over the Golden Gate Bridge, the San Francisco Oakland Bay Bridge, the Delaware Memorial Bridge, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and many more.

These bridges have warnings like, “Last exit before the bridge.” I prefer a bridge to sneak up on me. Then, I have no choice but to drive over it. The anxiety doesn’t have time to build.

Each bridge is scary for different reasons. On the Delaware Memorial Bridge, there are these little grids of unfinished construction where you can see the water below. The San Francisco Oakland Bay Bridge has toll booths, which cause erratic traffic patterns. The lanes get all screwy just before you get on the bridge. It’s chaos.

The Golden Gate is bright orange. No, the color isn’t scary. Since it’s bright orange, on a foggy day, it’s the only thing you can see for miles and miles. Sometimes, you see it fade off in the fog like a bridge to nowhere. It looks terrifying.

The only thing more terrifying is when the dentist says, “You need a root canal.” I have more crowns than Miss America.

A few years ago, I had a dentist proceed with a root canal even though an infection was killing the novocaine. I won’t say his real name. Let’s call him Orin Scrivello, D.D.S.

It’s true that continued exposure to your fears helps you conquer said fears. I no longer fear suspension bridges or general dentistry. I don’t think that’s going to work with some of my other fears, though. I don’t think having a big pile of spiders on me is going to desensitize me. I think my arachnophobia would get progressively worse.

By the way, my fear of spiders comes in varying degrees. You have to take into account the size of the spider and the proximity of the aforementioned arachnid to my face. If it’s on my leg, I just brush it off with only mild panic. If it’s on my cheek, I flail around and scream before I brush it off. How you face danger depends on how close the danger is to your face.

But I digress, like I do.

I can drive over any bridge in America. The bigger the better. Advances in dentistry have made root canals a lot less painful. I can sit in the dentist’s chair without terror. Mostly.

A few years ago, I had a tooth removed. Now, my dentist just told me I need a dental implant. I need a bridge. In my mouth! I really hate irony.

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