Comedian in cars with craziness
In early December, Santa came down my street in a horse-drawn carriage and gave out presents to the kids. Normally, the kids would sit on Santa’s lap. Because of COVID-19, we took a picture of my great-nephew in front of the sleigh. We were Santa adjacent.
Side note: My nephew Conner is 5 months old. He wasn’t aware of the detailed planning that went into this annual event, but we got some nice photos.
Days earlier, I had to drop off the gift to one of the event coordinators. I drove down the street looking for the house. I should have gone on a dry run during the day, because I couldn’t see the house numbers at night. When my GPS told me I was nearby, I got out of the car and walked.
I parked a few yards away, but I found the right house, dropped off the gift and left.
That should be where the story ended. Nope. I saw a car – about the size of mine – and got in. I looked around and saw lighted cup holders and thought, “I didn’t know my car did that.” That’s when I realized I had jumped in the wrong car. I jumped out yelling, “Not my car! Not my car!” I didn’t want anyone to think I was stealing it.
I ran over to the right car, got in and drove off.
I could tell you that this never happened before, but I’ve made this mistake before.
The first time was not my fault. A long time ago, I was driving a company van for the phone company. I stopped at Parkway Center Mall and ate lunch in the food court (as I said, a long time ago).
I came up behind the Verizon van and tried to unlock the back door. The key didn’t work. I jiggled it and tried again. My coworker James jumped out, with his mouth agape and his eyes wide. He was inside doing paperwork and heard someone trying to break in. He was terrified. My van was parked in the next row, directly in front of his.
Back in Los Angeles, I drove around in a beat-up, green Saturn. I left work one day to run an errand, and I got in the wrong green Saturn. I sat down and wondered, “Why did someone throw a Jack in the Box bag in my car?” It was not my car. Oddly, my key worked in the door! Once again, my car was in the next spot in the parking lot. Later, a car dealer told me that 1 in 100 Saturn keys were exactly the same.
I could’ve driven off in it, but it was dirtier than mine. The other Saturn belonged to a co-worker, Orlando. He laughed when I told him I almost stole his car. He joked, “If you’re taking it, wash it.” We’ve been friends ever since.
If you ever see in me in your driver’s seat, don’t panic! I’m just confused.