Jan 9, 2020 6 min read

Q. I stutter. My family hears it. My teachers would notice it more if I actually answered in class. I’m very, very quiet at school.

There’s lots of times when I want to add to a conversation. I sometimes even have the right answer in class. I just am so afraid to speak and be made fun of that I don’t.

When I was in elementary school, I went to speech classes. Maybe they were therapy. I don’t know. Everyone made fun of me then, even kids younger than me on the bus. They’d say my name and repeat the first letter again and again. I’d just wish I could die.

But then we moved from school to school in different states and that was the end of the speech classes. It’s worse when I’m upset. This year we moved to another place and no one knows me. I decided I’d rather be the kid who doesn’t talk than the kid who stutters. Then, over the break I was just watching TV and this movie came on about King George who supposedly stuttered. I know it’s just a movie, but is it possible to treat something as bad as this?

My grades are pretty good because I listen in classes and my written work is good, but I practically faint with anxiety if I need to do a presentation. One time, when I was 12, I did. Faint. Fainting did not make people kinder to me. I just got laughed at more. Why am I like this? Is there hope for me?

– 13-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: I will try to answer your brave questions. You are worthy, no matter how your speech sounds, but I can tell how challenging this is for you. Being made fun of can be very harsh. I’m proud of your courage. No one should treat you poorly because you stutter. Those kids were wrong.

I’m sure you feel lonely, but you are not alone.

I found an online support group for young people who deal with stuttering. It’s called the National Stuttering Association (NSA) and offers mentoring and a newsletter called Letting Go. The program’s tag line is, “If you STUTTER, you are not ALONE.” The site contains games and puzzles and books and resources and so much more! I suggest you connect with them as well and sign up for their newsletter. Hope is real, for you and for others who stutter.

The web address for the newsletter is: https://westutter.org/who-we-help/nsa-family-programs/kids/.

According to NSA, there are approximately 3 million people who stutter living in the United States. Even if you know no one who faces this challenge, there are others out there. Their feelings may be like yours and they’re ready to help.

Researchers aren’t sure what exactly causes stuttering. Once professionals believed stuttering was emotionally connected. This was called psychogenic stuttering.

It is now believed such a stuttering cause is very rare.

Most believe stuttering is caused by a combination of factors that are genetic – the code our bodies receive to tell us how to grow and be who we are:

• Developmental – things that happen as we grow from baby to child and adult;
• Environmental – things that happen in the world around us.

More research is needed. Many toddlers stutter as they learn speech and seek a new letter or word. This stuttering typically goes away. No matter how or why your stuttering occurs, it seems to be limiting your quality of life. You matter. You deserve support.

The Stuttering Foundation offers many resources, including scholarship opportunities. I purchased two of their teen books for our Teen Center library.

If you live near Common Ground Teen Center, 92 N. Main Street, Washington, you can stop over and borrow them. If not, the site offers videos and many inexpensive books like the ones I bought. Their website is https://www.stutteringhelp.org/teens.

A speech language pathologist is trained to help people who stutter. This trained professional can teach you strategies for reducing stuttering and tension. You can practice many of these strategies at home. They may include the appropriate use of pauses, slowing the rate of your speech and identifying habits and behaviors you can use to avoid stuttering.

You mention seeing someone for speech classes when you were younger, but you don’t share if you see anyone now. If you’re trying to be invisible, you may not have the support you need. Take a deep breath and talk with your guidance counselor. You’re worth it.

The recommendations for seeing a speech-language pathologist are:

• Stuttering for more than six months;
• Avoiding speaking,
• Emotional distress because of stuttering.

If your school doesn’t have resources or you’d rather seek support on your own, you can go to https://westutter.org/who-we-help/find-speech-therapist/ to find a speech language patholgist near you.

I’m so glad you watched the movie “The King’s Speech” and it encouraged you to reach out. Moving from school to school is tough – no wonder you feel alone.

Not only kings stutter. Did you know British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, pop singer Marc Anthony, actresses Emily Blunt and Nicole Kidman, actors Samuel L. Jackson and James Earl Jones – the voice of “Star Wars” character Darth Vader – all stuttered?

You’ve already made the first step to being able to speak up. Your voice matters. Keep in touch and good luck.

Peer Educator Response: There’s always hope no matter the situation. We’re all different. Sometimes the cards are dealt differently, but difference is what makes us each unique in our own way.

When people don’t understand difference, they tend to make fun of it. People have the capacity to be really awful sometimes. However, people have the capacity for great kindness as well. Isolating yourself isn’t the answer, although we do understand you not wanting to draw attention to yourself. Try to embrace who you are. You’re a person of worth.

Some of us know people who stutter. We even have stutterers in our families. You may want to check out the work of Drew Lynch on YouTube. He’s a successful and very funny stand-up comic, and he has a stutter. Don’t let others tell you how to feel about yourself. Stand strong.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.