The old rules no longer apply
Once upon a time, I had this awful temp job where the boss shoved a thick manual at me and said, “Figure it out.” No training. He just tossed a thick photocopied, spiral-bound book into my arms. At my desk, I tried to read the book and do the job at the same time. It was a lot like juggling bowling balls. On fire. Whenever I got the hang of it, he threw another lit bowling ball at me.
Kids, I am speaking figuratively. Don’t set bowling balls on fire and try to juggle them. They’re hot and heavy.
Every time I did something wrong, the boss would ask, “Why’d you do it that way?” And I would say, “It’s in the manual.”
Side note: I like to be right all the time. I have a superiority/inferiority complex. It sounds dichotomous, but it’s possible to have both. I think I’m terrible, but I think I’m less terrible than everyone else.
But I digress, like I do. The boss couldn’t understand why I was doing things “old school,” when I was a temp who had just arrived on the scene. Were the old timers messing with the rookie? Nope. I was a temp; the old timers didn’t even talk to me. They didn’t even bother to know my name. After all, I was just passing through.
One day, my boss had nearly blown a gasket because of an error I made. I insisted I did it the right way and took the manual to my boss’ desk to prove the method to my madness. He thought I was purposely trying to make him crazy.
P.S. If I was going to gaslight someone, I would have picked someone richer and more attractive.
I flipped to the page to justify my reasoning and said, “See. It’s right here,” and pointed.
He looked at the book and yelled, “Who gave you this?”
I sputtered out a weak little answer: “You did.” It was barely audible.
He said, “This is the old manual!”
He tossed it in the garbage. I heard the tinny clank of the spiral-bound spine hitting the metal receptacle. He grabbed a new manual and sent me out of his office. I had to relearn the job, basically from scratch, but I made far fewer mistakes after that.
They finally hired someone full time and no longer needed me. I remember leaving that office on the last day and doing a little jig. My happy dance.
Additional side note: That same boss sat with the new hire and went over the manual page-by-page. The newly hired employee happened to be a beautiful young woman with long dark hair, but whatever, dude.
This whole year reminds me of that time. I keep trying to do things the 2019 way, but I’m working with the old rules. By the time, I figure out the rules for 2020, it’ll be 2021 and we will have to learn everything all over again. But I’m up for it.