Teenage quarantine dreams
A bunch of people are reporting that they’re having weird dreams since we began self-isolating. My dreams have always been a bit weird. I didn’t know they were ever supposed to make sense. They’re dreams. Here’s a clue: If you’re flying or having a conversation with a rabbit, you are most likely dreaming, but I don’t know your life.
I’ve had dreams of feeling trapped long before quarantine. I’ve had bizarre themes, recurring characters and special guest stars. It’s like “Gilligan’s Island” in my head. I’m surprised Phil Silvers or Kurt Russell have never shown up.
Dreams are fascinating to me. Everyone has had the “fear of falling dream” or the “I went to school or work in my underwear.” I remember the one time I dreamt I went to school in my Fruit-of-the-Looms. In the dream, I get called up to the blackboard to solve a math problem and realize I’m in my tighty-whities. I hope that – in real life – I would notice before I got to algebra class. That was like sixth period. Also, I have graduated from high school back before Cyndi Lauper had psoriasis. I have no idea why I still dream about being there.
It’s also interesting that as many times as I’ve dreamed I was in my BVDs in public, I have never dreamed about being arrested. I guess I got away from the Dream Police.
Showing up naked or in your skivvies is one of the top 10 most common dreams. Along with falling, flying, dying, being chased, showing up late, meeting a celebrity, taking a test and being pregnant. I am happy to report that I have never dreamed about being pregnant. I guess my dreams aren’t THAT weird.
It’s common to dream that your teeth are falling out. I have had enough dentistry issues in real life that I don’t need to dream about it. This front tooth, central incisor number nine has come out three times. I even know its dental designation.
I have a lot of dreams about urinating, but it’s because I drink 10 glasses of water a day. In the dream, I’m always at an abandoned mall – I would guess Century III – and I’m looking for the restroom. I am worried that one day, in the dream, I will find the urinal and wake up wet.
People believe that there is a defined set of symbols in a dream, but I contest that. My cousin Nicole used to have a pet rat. I am deathly afraid of rodents. If she dreams of a rat and I dream of a rat, they’re going to mean completely different things.
Recently, I dreamed I was the king of a mountain made up completely of individually wrapped Scott Toilet Paper rolls, but that was back when the shelves were empty and I had to buy the last package of off brand TP.
Frankly, I don’t really care what I dream about – as long as I keep waking up.