Apr 13, 2022 3 min read

Are you a tailgater? When I ask you that, what do you think I mean? Do your thoughts immediately go to Sundays in October when you’re decked out in Steelers gear and grilling brats on the barbecue at Heinz Field? Or do you think of the idiot who was riding your tail on the road yesterday in the mistaken belief that this will actually make anybody driver faster?

I thought of this last week as someone was tailgating me through the omnipresent Southern Beltway construction zone on Interstate79 near Southpointe. The speed limit there is 45 mph, and this person was right on my bumper. I could see her in the rearview mirror gesticulating violently and I’m sure cursing me and the dozen or so other drivers in front of me who apparently were all in cahoots just to get in her way. What was her motivation? What did she want me to do? It was physically impossible to go faster, as there was traffic right in front of me and I did not want to speed in the construction zone. I’ll be darned if I’ll let an impatient tailgater force me to get a speeding ticket.

There is no good tailgating, except in the Blue Lot at Mountaineer Field at Milan Puskar Stadium on a fall Saturday when WVU is playing football at home … or any other college football game on a given Saturday. OK, maybe Steelers and other NFL tailgates should be included on the good list … and I’ll stretch it to include all of the Parrothead tailgaters at Jimmy Buffett concerts, and all those crazy kids who spend the day tailgating before the annual Kenny Chesney concert at Heinz Field. That’s my idea of tailgating: A bunch of friends, a full cooler and some good food – not inching within a hair of some other driver’s bumper and trying to push or will them into going faster just to make your life easier.

Back to the lady tailgater I had last week. Once she managed to pass me, she immediately ran right up on the bumper of the next person in front of her. Did she go to a different driver’s training class that taught you to constantly tailgate every vehicle? I just rolled my eyes and realized that she probably never went to any driver’s training class ever. The older I get, the more I realize that speeding doesn’t really get me anywhere sooner. When I’m running behind and feel tempted to speed or tailgate someone else, I often think of Tiger Woods and that horrific accident last year that nearly cost him his leg all because (like so many of us so very often) he was in a hurry, running behind and was speeding. It’s just not worth it.

Now, would somebody please tell the tailgating lady that?

Kristin Emery can be reached at kristinemery1@yahoo.com.