Facing fear of driving
Q. I’m afraid to drive after I begged and begged to get my license. I’m a new driver. I know someone who was in a horrible car accident and is in the hospital. Now when I drive, I keep thinking the other cars are going to hit me. It freaks me out. I don’t dare tell my parents because I fussed so much to be allowed to drive. I want to like driving like I did at first.
– 17-year- old
Mary Jo’s Response: Fear is a powerful feeling. It is also a human response to things we cannot control. Being afraid is OK, it’s how we face our fears that matters.
You don’t say how long you’ve driven; “new” could be a few weeks or months. You enjoyed driving before you heard of the accident. Returning to the way you felt about driving is possible, but will take some effort.
Your fear may be making you hesitant or skittish when you drive. Restoring your confidence is important to your safety. Sharing your fear with your parents is wise. I think they will listen to you and help you deal with your fear. As a parent, I would want to know how you feel so I can support you.
Here are some hints for getting past your fear:
1. Admit what’s causing your fear. It seems you identify with the person you know who is in the hospital. You may think, “What if this happens to me?”
“What-ifs” can make it hard to enjoy life. Remind yourself this hasn’t happened to you.
2. Many things in life are scary. Living in the present helps.
3. Share with a parent or trusted adult. Ask them to drive with you at first.
4. Take small trips and arrive safely to reinforce the belief you will avoid an accident.
5. Practice defensive driving. Take a course if possible.
6. Learn how to cope with stress. Slow, mindful breathing can ease tension and lower anxiety.
If fear still troubles you, seek support from a counselor. Seeing a counselor does not mean you are weak; you are seeking help for a persistent phobia.
I have faith you can enjoy driving again. Your story tugs at my heart. I was in a head-on collision when I was in college, a long time ago. It took time for me to face my fear of driving. I learned to be patient with myself. You can do this. You don’t need to do it alone.
Good luck.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.