Feb 17, 2022 3 min read

Q. I wish my parents would get a divorce. I know that sounds strange but I’m sick of them fighting. They yell at each other all the time. When they’re not yelling, they’re mad.

I spend a lot of time with my gram. She says I’m too sensitive. She says all parents fight. I know she’s wrong. I go to friend’s houses and their parents don’t act like mine. Mine seem like they hate each other. Gram says they’re staying together for me. That’s stupid. It would be better if they split and stopped being miserable. I feel like telling them this. Should I?

12-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: Relationships take work and are often challenging. Your gram is wrong about your sensitivity. It’s OK to be troubled by your parents’ anger. It’s OK to talk about how you feel.

Your gram is also wrong when she says all parents fight. There are ways to disagree without the tension like you describe. Disagreeing is part of many relationships; fighting and constant anger takes disagreement to an often unhealthy place.

Yes, I think you should talk with your parents. Share what you told me. Be respectful and kind. Listen to them. They may not know how much you are affected by their behavior.

Counseling helps many couples. Your parents may want to try working out their differences. Staying together for your sake, while an unselfish goal, ignores the tension you feel in your home. Divorce can be hard, but it can also be liberating for two people whose differences are not reconcilable.

I hope your parents are open to talking with you and each other. You are a person of worth, no matter how your parents’ relationship works. Please stay in touch.

Peer Educator Alumni Response: When I was a kid, my parents stayed together for me and my siblings. They divorced when my youngest brother graduated high school. They’re much happier people now. Sometimes it’s better to call it quits and move on. I wish they had. I know what it feels like to live in a house full of anger. I became depressed in high school because of the constant fighting. I agree with you. Good luck.

Youth Champions: It’s been a while since I highlighted young people and their accomplishments. I plan to add this feature to my column going forward. To kick off, I’d like to share the Washington School District’s Prexie Performers first theater production since the COVID-1p pandemic began. “She Kills Monsters: Young Adventurers Edition” by Qui Nguyen will bring to light a range of emotions and feelings faced by adolescents every day. The play debuts at 7 p.m. Feb. 17 in the LGI room at the high school. Additional performances are at 7 p.m. Feb. 18, and at 1 and 5 p.m. Feb. 19. Tickets cost $5 for students and $7 for adults. Please support these excellent teens.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.