That lucky old sun
Despite all the hoopla surrounding the purchase of Twitter by Elon Musk, the focus on Oct. 26, the day before the takeover became official, was on our friendly neighborhood star, Ra.
That’s the day NASA posted a picture to Twitter of the sun looking like it was … well … smiling. The glowing yellow-orange disc had two dark patches where eyes would be, and a slash of a “mouth.” NASA’s explanation was rather terse: “Today, NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory caught the sun ‘smiling.’ Seen in ultraviolet light, these dark patches on the sun are known as coronal holes and are regions where fast solar wind gushes out into space.”
Solar wind – not to be confused with Sinatra’s “Summer Wind” – is responsible for, among other phenomena, the Northern and Southern Lights and the “tail” on comets. That’s the good part.
Just one newspaper that I could find online went to the trouble of explaining that solar wind might also lead to “an internet apocalypse,” not only shutting down computer networks but also wreaking havoc on electrical grids. No newspaper that I could find claimed that the solar wind might also affect electronic voting machines and tip midterm elections toward Democrats. But if this happens, you heard it here first.
Twitter users had varying reactions to NASA’s photo. Some said the face resembled the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from “Ghostbusters,” while others claimed that it looked very much like the baby-faced sun from the British TV show “Teletubbies.” The picture gave some users spasms of ecstasy. “OK, this happy sun made my day!” said one. It gave others the willies. “I am terrified!” one wrote. And of course there were memes. My favorite, with type superimposed over the NASA photo, proclaimed:
“Feeling cute. Might blow a solar flare on earth later to knock out your electrical systems and let you humans fall into global chaos in a few days … IDK.”
I don’t know, either. After months of trying to avoid negative political advertising on everything from local TV newscasts to advertisements for personal hygiene products, I’d welcome an electronic communications apocalypse. And if a solar flare would also incinerate the political signs that pepper yards in my neighborhood and at almost every intersection, I’d be grateful at least until September 2024.
Elon Musk, who now calls himself “Chief Twit,” – allowed the sunny meme and other heliocentric tweets, thereby partially making good on his promise to reinstate free speech on the social media giant. Whether Musk will allow equal time to other heavenly bodies remains to be seen.
When I looked at the sky last night, the Man in the Moon looked rather miffed, probably because tweeters don’t seem stoked about the total lunar eclipse taking place on Nov. 8 – Election Day. Beware!
Not for nothing is it called a “Blood Moon.”