Adolescents’ bodies mature at own pace
Q. When will I ever get my period? I’m the only person left in my friend group without it. In fact, most of my friends got theirs two years ago. I hate this. My body isn’t changing either. Is something wrong with me?
– 14-year-old
Q. Why did I start my period when I’m so young? It’s so awkward None of my friends started yet. I’m the only one who needs to carry sanitary napkins around. I never know when it’s going to start. I’m so embarrassed.
– 10-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: I’m responding to your questions together because they are so similar and deal with puberty. Bodies change on each person’s individual timetable. It can be normal and OK to start a period early; it can be normal and OK to start a period late. The average age for a first period is 12 – both of you are OK.
Just because your body’s schedule is within normal limits doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept. Being 14 without signs of puberty can be scary. Your parent or another trusted adult can speak with your pediatrician to reassure you. Starting periods at 10 and earlier than your friends can be frustrating and feel isolating. Please know having a period is an important part of growing up and means your body is healthy. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.
Let’s talk periods. They’re part of the puberty changes bodies go through as they mature. Even though each person is unique, most bodies follow a progression called Tanner Stages. Typically, the first sign of puberty is moods – emotional ups and downs. The hormones in your body are changing; for some, feelings are like a roller-coaster! Your feet will grow into your adult size before the rest of you reaches adult size, so you may notice you need bigger shoes. Breasts begin, typically slowly, as what’s called “budding,” then gradually to the size where each body is programmed to develop. A little vaginal discharge is also normal before periods start.
A period is another name for menstruation or menses. It’s part of the body getting ready to have a baby someday. The ovary releases an ovum or egg, which is called ovulation, and the lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, thickens to prepare for a possible baby. When no pregnancy happens, that lining slowly leaves the uterus through the vagina in the form of blood and other fluids. Periods take a few days, typically three to five, but they can last longer. When I was teaching fourth- and fifth-graders, one student said, “I think we should be able to just go to the bathroom and have a period, like a big whoosh!” I agree that certainly would be easier.
To catch the discharge, there are three choices – a sanitary napkin, also called a pad, a menstrual cup, and a tampon. Talking with a trusted adult like a parent or school nurse will help you figure out how to use these and help you decide which one is right for you.
You can keep a record of your periods to help guess when the next one will happen. The first two to three years after periods begin, they can be irregular, but afterwards they happen about every four to five weeks.
I started teaching classes about growing up in 1984 and wrote a book about puberty called “What’s Up as You Grow Up?” It’s available on Amazon at https://amzn.to/40k7Dob and is meant to help make puberty less frightening.
You are both people of worth. Puberty happens at the right time for each person. Good luck.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.