Mar 2, 2023 3 min read

Q. I’ve been a teacher for more than 20 years. I teach ninth- and 10th-graders. I read your last column and loved your response. I agree, normal 13- and 14-year-olds can be moody. I fear I’m seeing more than moodiness lately. Over the last years, I see more and more depression and anxiety among my students. What do you think is causing this? I know some who blame COVID and some who blame social media. I don’t know what to blame, but I sense some of these kids need real help. I know what to do with normal teen angst. I listen, I validate, it gets better. The kids who are withdrawn, so depressed you can almost feel it, those are the kids I worry about. What can I do?

– Worried teacher

Mary Jo’s Response: Teaching is one of the most important professions in our world. You emulate the best in education because you see the whole child. You want to not only prepare your students for graduation, but you also seek to support them in life. Thank you.

I’ve read many articles attributing the current teen mental health crisis to the pandemic; I’ve read just as many articles blaming social media. While there are no doubt connections in both areas to mental health challenges, I fear the problem is deeper.

Teens and children reflect the adults in their families and society. When adults deny their own mental health needs and are unwell, children follow. Our society continues to stigmatize seeking mental health therapy, we do not have adequate numbers of therapists to serve our needs, and many cannot afford to pay for mental health care. If we want to help our teens, we need to help ourselves.

As a teacher who cares deeply, you can see challenges, maybe even before families. Teens can be masters at deception, just like adults. When famous adults take their own lives, we ponder how we missed the signs. The harsh reality is those who most need our help with depression and suicidal ideation may be the most skilled at pretending all is well.

From my heart, two thoughts: First, seek support. Know the guidance counselors and psychiatric professionals in your school/area. Connect with them regularly. Develop relationships with them, so they respond well to your concerns. As a teacher, you can recognize red flags like withdrawal, changes in appetite, homework/grades dropping off, or social relationships faltering. Connect with parents. Most parents want to know how their teens are coping.

Second, take care of you. We cannot pour from an empty cup is a cliché, but it is true. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who cushions me when I care for hurting teens. He is great at ensuring I have time to decompress; he shields me from compassion fatigue. Teaching today can be stressful, and worrying about your students can exacerbate the stress.

I think the best thing we can do is to hold space with young people when they are distressed and offer them our support. We can also work toward a day when mental health needs are given the same priority as physical health needs.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.