The big cheese
Since the reelection of Donald Trump as U.S. president, there’s been a lot of grumbling from Americans who say they no longer want to live in America. I’m not going to delve into political opinions in this column, but I will say that if I do leave the U.S., it will be for cheese.
Wait, you say. Does not Wisconsin call itself “The Cheese State?” Doesn’t Heini’s Cheese Chalet in Berlin, Ohio, make more than 25 varieties of cheese – about 50,000 pounds a week? And right here in western Pennsylvania, can’t you go to The Yard restaurant and order the Mac Attack – a grilled cheese sandwich that includes a helping of macaroni and cheese between two slices of gourmet bread? Yes, all that’s true.
But America doesn’t have the Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake. For that, I’d be willing to have to emigrate to Brockworth, near Gloucester, England. By the way, the “wake” in the event’s title isn’t used in the traditional sense of a funeral gathering, although after you read and discover the particulars of the event, you might think it should be. Held each spring, the Cheese-Rolling and Wake started out as a local event, first recorded in 1826. Today the event attracts participants from around the world, even without offering a huge monetary prize. Here’s what it entails.
A round of Double Gloucester cheese (a flavorful variety, but chosen for its firmness and rollability) weighing 7 to 9 pounds is sent rolling from the top of Cooper’s Hill, which descends 200 yards with a 50% (roughly 26 degrees) slope. Competitors then chase the cheese, which is given about a one-second head start. The first person over the finish line at the bottom of the hill wins the cheese. Although many participants try to catch the cheese, the round can gain quite a bit of speed and, at the conclusion of the event, the cheese stands alone. Whether by accident or intent, participants most often tumble down the hillside like Jack and Jill. Medical staff are on duty to repair any broken crowns.
There are four men’s and one women’s downhills and three uphill races, two for children and one for adults. The winner of the women’s downhill in 2025 was Ava, a 20-year-old first-timer from London who after the race told a BBC interviewer, “I don’t like cheese.” Ava used the unusual technique of tumbling down the hill while holding her head, something that’s a lot easier to fathom by viewing a video posted on the BBC News website. German Tom Kopke (“I just dashed forward and tried to get the win, and then I just blacked out.”) won the first men’s downhill race. Louie, male winner of the uphill children’s race, described the experience: “I feel dead: my legs, I can’t feel them.”
A few participants dressed in costume: Superman, the Flash and at least one luchador (a Mexican wrestler). There may be those who think that people lining up to chase cheese is a stupid thing to do. To these people I offer four words: “Let’s Make a Deal.”
I’m pretty proud of myself for making it through this piece without making a single cheese pun. That’s because I believe it’s OK if cheese is nacho thing. But if you think chasing cheese is just plain silly, perhaps I’d be cheddar off without you.