Test your news I.Q.
Our first news quiz of 2026 awaits you! It’s a multiple-guess quiz, with many of the questions centered on the recent hostilities between Iran and the United States. There will always be at least one correct answer but, unlike some news quiz writers, I won’t tell you which one it is. It’s just my way of saying, “If I tell you how bad things are, you’ll be even more depressed.”
1. After more than a month of virtually non-stop bombing and missile attacks on Iran, President Trump on April 6 announced a two-week ceasefire. What reason did he give for the halt in hostilities?
A) “We have already met and exceeded all military objectives.”
B) “Google Maps went down and we couldn’t find the targets.”
C) “We ran out of bombs.”
D) “We are not at war with Iran! Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia!”
2. What was the name that the United States chose for the military operation against Iran?
A) Operation Not the Gulf War 2.0
B) Operation Epic Fury
C) Operation There’s Never Been Such a Big Operation in the History of the World!
D) Operation Joe Biden’s War
3. During the hostilities, Iran shut down the Strait of Hormuz, a critical shipping passage between the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman. What measures did the United State consider to open the strait?
A) Give Iran inside-trader information on the stock market.
B) Ask Israel to have Moses do “the Red Sea thing” again.
C) Have then-Attorney General Pam Bondi fill the strait with the Jeffrey Epstein files to make it into a land passage, then rent U.S. oil trucks to other countries so they could drive over it.
D) Threaten to “bring them back to the stone ages, where they belong.”
4. After the ceasefire took hold, what did Iran say about the result of the conflict?
A) “The enemy has been begging for a ceasefire for over a month.”
B) “The enemy has suffered an undeniable, historic and crushing defeat.”
C) “Iran was never at war with the United States. Iran has always been at war with Eurasia.”
D) A, B and maybe C. I’m so confused.
5. In a late-night post to his Truth Social platform on April 12, President Trump branded Pope Leo XIV as “WEAK” on crime and “terrible” on foreign policy. Then the president posted an AI-generated meme of himself dressed as a character that looked suspiciously like Jesus. After backlash, the meme disappeared and the president claimed:
A) “I did post it and I thought it was me as a doctor and had to do with Red Cross.”
B) “I did post it and I thought it was me as a doctor healing a UFC fighter after a tough battle.”
C) “I did post it and I thought it was me as a doctor trying to bring Jeffrey Epstein back to life so he could stand trial again.”
D) “I didn’t post it; Eastasia posted it.”
As a ceasefire in this quiz, let’s end with one sports-related question.
6. The Steelers will host the NFL Draft beginning Thursday. What big developments can we expect? A) Last season’s Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers will declare himself eligible to be drafted again, and no one will challenge him. He’ll be drafted by Cleveland.
B) Pirates center fielder O’Neill Cruz will be drafted as a wide receiver, but will miss every ball thrown to him at tryouts.
C) Terry Bradshaw and Ben Roethlisberger will meet in a steel-cage WWE match to determine who the Steelers will pick in the first round.
D) New Steelers coach Mike McCarthy will declare: “We don’t hate Baltimore! Pittsburgh has always been at war with Eastasia.”