Test your news I.Q.
Celebration of America’s 250th birthday now safely behind us, let’s see how much attention you’ve been paying to other world events. Each question below has at least one correct answer.
1. After unveiling the refurbished Reflecting Pool on the National Mall, President Trump claimed that the pool had been vandalized, making algae reappear and the “American Flag Blue” paint at the bottom of the pool come loose and float to the surface. Who did Trump say was to blame?
A. Teenage Mutant Turtles Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael, who lacerated the bottom of the pool using their katanas because they thought arch-villain Shredder was in the sewers beneath.
B. Blue paint used by the contractor was manufactured in Thailand and contained this advertising blurb on each can: “New, improved, with even more algae!”
C. Vandals using razor blades or knives had somehow evaded security cameras to cut a 350-foot gash in the pool’s bottom.
D. Democrats manipulated the weather in Washington, D.C., to cause extremely hot temperatures that propagated algae and loosened the paint.
2. In late June, The Texas State Board of Education established lists of required reading for K-12
students that include stories from the Bible alongside classic literature. “We’re going to stop watering down American history. We’re going to teach the truth. Our nation was founded as a Christian nation, and Texas is a Christian state,” said board member Brandon Hall. What are some of the stories that will be required reading?
A. “Davey Crockett and Goliath”
B. “The Story of Adam and Eve”
C. “Bobby Kennedy Jr. and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Vaccines.”
D. “The Bad Samaritan Immigrant”
3. Singer Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce were married at Madison Square Garden on July 3, creating a media frenzy during which much hyperbole was used to describe the event. What was one such description?
A. “It’s the wedding of the century!”
B. “Makes the Red Wedding in ‘Game of Thrones’ look bad!”
C. “Even better than Bo and Hope’s wedding on ‘Days of Our lives!'”
D. “Even better than … who was that prince who married that girl in England in the 1980s?”
4. The United States World Cup soccer team was ousted by Belgium last Monday in a contest that was marred by controversy. What occurred to cause the ruckus?
A. United States shoes squeaked to the tune of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.”
B. Belgium’s team accused a U.S. spy of using a knife or razor blade to cut the elastic in the waistbands of their soccer shorts, causing them to fall down when they ran.
C. During a breakaway by U.S. striker Christian Pulisic, Belgium coach Rudi Garcia shouted “Squirrel!” distracting Pulisic, who missed the kick.
D. President Trump called FIFA’s president, Gianni Infantino, to ask for a review of a red-card ruling by which U.S. star Folarin Balogun was suspended from participating in the U.S.A.-Belgium contest. The suspension was overturned, allowing Balogun to play.
5. Vice President J.D. Vance has made an addition to his official residence at the U.S. Naval Observatory. What is it?
A. A giant version of the board game “Battleship” that uses actual naval vessels in the Potomac River.
B. A chicken coop where, a spokesman says, Vance personally tends to the birds.
C. A replica of the Reflecting Pool on the National Mall in hopes of attracting the vandals that President Trump says damaged the real pool.
D. A dart board with a picture of Pope Leo XIV’s face on it.