Marriage is a team effort
Do you love sports? I do and always have ever since I was a little kid.
Maybe it comes from growing up around Pittsburgh during the “City of Champions” era in the 1970s. I had dreams of playing quarterback like Terry Bradshaw, but, alas, my talents lay elsewhere and I instead played a few years of flag football and softball, took gymnastics, joined the swim team and eventually realized that competitive sports were not my forte.
Instead, I joined the cheerleading squad and marching band. I’m still a weekend warrior when it comes to sporting activities, jumping at the chance to ski, golf and scuba dive as much as I can. The one phrase that has always stuck with me from those early days of learning sports and being coached is, “There is no ‘I’ in team!” That is both literally and figuratively true. I also find that expression extremely appropriate when it comes to marriage.
When my husband and I got hitched a few years ago, we were the oddballs who had never been married despite our middle age. This confirmed bachelorette and my confirmed bachelor had never met our matches until we met each other. Our love story is indeed wonderful and we still feel like newlyweds, but getting married at any time and especially later in life requires some adaptation. You have to become a team rather than a solo act, and having lived alone for decades before I got married, I was certain that learning to live with anyone was going to be a big change.
I was used to getting up and going to sleep on my own schedule (which was erratic due to working in television news), eating what I wanted when I wanted (or not cooking anything at all), and doing the laundry, cleaning and every other household task the way I was used to doing them. How would I adjust to having someone else around 24/7 doing things the way he was always used to doing them on his own schedule (which was basically opposite of mine).
We have found the answer lies in teamwork. It has taken some negotiation and trial and error, and I am very blessed to have a wonderful hubby who is extremely helpful and willing to be an equal part of the team. He loves to cook and is very good at it. I don’t like to cook, even though I can put edible meals on the table. We take turns doing laundry and split up the cleaning duties. We divided up the yardwork, and each keeps our own cars clean and maintained.
My parents set a wonderful example of teamwork for me by being married 58 years and dividing up the indoor and outdoor upkeep of the house and other chores, so I had excellent role models.
While there is an “i” in marriage, there definitely is not one in our team!
Kristin Emery can be reached at kristinemery1@yahoo.com.