The holiday hangover
Some people, and orange cats named Garfield, hate Monday. If you are a human, or a cartoon cat, this is not your day. The first Monday after an extended holiday break is difficult even for the best of us.
Some of us cherish our routine and are delighted to get back to it. I am not one of those people.
I never thought Garfield was a good cartoon, but that cat is right about Mondays.
Side note: I also love lasagna. I also like baked rigatoni. Anything with tomato sauce, cheese and pasta noodles, any shape or size. This holiday, I ate more than my share of lasagna.
But I digress, like I do. I have the blahs, a holiday hangover. I’m trying to get back on track. Getting up at 6 in the morning, after 10-plus days of sleeping in is jarring.
I’m still under the comforter (I finally understand why it’s called that). It’s sweet to luxuriate in bed past 7. I want to throw my covers over my head and stay here a while.
It’s too late to call in work and say, “Sorry. I’ll try getting out of bed tomorrow.”
If they’re lucky, I’ll have to get out of bed soon anyway. My New Year’s resolution includes drinking 10 glasses of water a day.
Over the break, I learned that it is possible to overdose on chocolate. I’m the reason why the Sarris employees had to work overtime through December. Gird your loins, I’ll be back at Easter.
At a Christmas party this year, my friend Tressa handed me a gift basket, which dropped out of my hand, shattering the two mugs inside said basket. I had a present for less than two seconds before I destroyed it. That’s a new personal record! There are only a few things that are as embarrassing as sweeping up a gift and chucking it into the garbage in front of the gift giver. It’s a distinct level of mortification.
During the space between the holidays, I watched way too many Hallmark Christmas movies. I watch 17 women and two dudes give up their big city jobs to move back home to their high school sweethearts. Now, I’m returning to the real world where people break up in four- to- seven-word text messages.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed my holidays way too much, but like the bottom row of lights on my Christmas tree, I don’t want to work. Frankly, I want to work like the lights on my neighbor’s Christmas tree, intermittently.
Unlike a certain cartoon tabby, I don’t like coffee. I never acquired the taste. Therefore, getting out of bed any morning is a challenge. My coffee drinking friends swear by their morning cup. I like tea. Unfortunately, I bought Sleepy Time Tea. I also have a tea called Smooth Move, which aids your digestion. It will, however, get you out of bed.
I don’t even feel like writing this column, but I guess I just did.