Everything old is new again
Everything old is new again. I’m embarrassed to admit I’m going to the movies to see “Superman,” “The Fantastic Four,” and “Jurassic Park.” Again.
Hollywood’s newest ideas are its oldest. Superman made his first appearance in comics in 1938. He appeared in a cartoon in 1941, but his first live-action film was in 1948. He comes back to the movies, or TV every couple of years.
The Fantastic Four didn’t show up until 1961 in the comics. The cartoon debuted in 1967. Their first film was in 2004 (if you don’t count the underground Roger Corman movie that was never widely distributed).
The Jurassic dinosaurs first showed up 201.4 million years ago, but their first movie didn’t come out until 1993. It took them the longest time to secure a franchise. No wonder there are now seven movies. They had a lot of catching up to do.
Once again, the last son of Krypton will get shot into space by his parents. There’s no Child Protective Services on his home planet, because that’s worse than leaving the kid in the car with the windows rolled up.
While Superman gets his powers from flying to Earth, the Fantastic Four gain their abilities from leaving the Earth. Their rocket goes up as Superman’s comes down. I hope they wave to each other as they pass.
The dinosaurs are brought back to life by a scientist who normally narrates nature films. He’s supposed to be a nice guy, but he brought back a Tyrannosaurus Rex to open a theme park. He’s the Walt Disney of dinosaurs. Things go drastically wrong, but if they stayed in the park and behaved kindly to one another the movie would be boring.
There’s a giant monster in Superman, too. There’s a supersized man in the Fantastic Four. There’s a lot of overlap.
Side note: The giant alien in the Fantastic Four is called Galactus. He’s a two-eyed, two-horned, giant, purple planet eater. The horns are more like giant purple hockey sticks protruding out of his helmet, but whatever. Did you know that for an additional $80 you can eat popcorn out of his head? Seriously. You can feel like the Bulgarian Khan eating popcorn out of the skull of your enemy (Emperor Nicephorus I’s skull was lined with gold and turned into a drinking goblet).
Remember kids, it’s all moving the merchandise!
But I digress, like I do. As I’m sitting there eating popcorn (not out of a purple helmet with glow-in-the-dark eyeballs), I will get an overwhelming sense of familiarity, maybe even nostalgia.
It’s not much different than having to ride the Thunderbolt and eat Potato Patch fries every year. Superheroes and dinosaurs have become a tradition.
I keep hearing, “Hollywood has run out of ideas!”
But I also hear, “Throw that plastic bottle in the blue bin.”
It’s a double standard. You like it when I recycle, but you hate it when the movie studios do it.
Relax, sit back and enjoy the recycled show.