Even people who are ‘confident’ sometimes fake it
People usually admire those with a lot of confidence and wonder how to get more of it. But even people who appear to be extremely confident might be faking it.
A lot of people consider me to be a very confident person. I tend to be loud, expressive and happy. When they see me smiling and talking with ease, they think I’m sure of myself.
But in reality, the entire time I’m talking, I am extremely nervous. I doubt my words, I question how interested people really are in what I’m saying and I usually wish I’d just stop talking.
I have friends of all different personalities – some very shy and some as outgoing as me. What I’ve learned is that the outgoing friends are just as confident, or even less confident, than the shy friends. This isn’t always the case, but often it is.
It is human nature to be nervous and sometimes regret things we say. Even when someone seems very confident, in fact, they could be nervous. As I write, I am anxious that no one will read it, or someone will think it’s badly written.
Some people use the bandage technique: they just do whatever they are thinking because it’s easier than doubting themselves. This isn’t a bad technique, but it can backfire.
My advice is to be nice, because not everyone is as confident as they seem. We’re all trying our hardest and we all mess up. We should treat each other with kindness and sensitivity, because not everyone is good at stating their true feelings. Even if they are extremely confident.
By Lydia Grant
Freshman, Canon-McMillan