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Annie’s Mailbox: Dad doesn’t owe kids any money

3 min read

Q. My parents bought a house 15 years ago. When Mom died seven years later, Dad decided to refinance and take Mom’s name off the deed. The bank needed a co-signer, so my sister and I agreed to be the co-borrowers.

Dad is now 75. Four years ago, he married a 47-year-old divorcee with a 22-year-old daughter. Since then, they have been living on my dad’s Social Security without making any effort to get a job. Now he wants to sell the house and move to Mexico to be closer to her family.

I asked Dad to give us what would have been half of Mom’s share to be split among his seven children. He doesn’t want to give us anything. But without my signature, he can’t sell the property. I’m concerned that this woman is taking advantage of my father. What should I do? – Not Fair

A. Unless your mother put in her will that the property should go to her children, please give it to Dad without strings. He has been living with this woman for four years. There doesn’t seem to be any physical or emotional abuse, nor is she trying to steal his money and leave him. If she’s taking advantage of him, he doesn’t object. We know you want to protect Dad, but if he is of sound mind, please let him make these decisions on his own .

Q. I was sitting in my car at the drugstore when a couple came out of the building, and the man started taking pictures of my car with his smartphone. I put my hand up and asked him to stop photographing me. The woman started yelling, saying I was in a parking lot and she could take pictures of whatever she wants.

Why does everyone think that just because their phones can snap pictures they can take a photo of anyone they want, whenever they choose? – Annoyed

A. Because they can. Unless they use the photo for illegal purposes, they can take pictures of your car and anything else. If you see the photo posted online, you can ask that it be removed, but there are no guarantees they will cooperate. In fact, this particular couple sounds excessively rude, irritating and a bit immature.

Dear Annie: We read the letter from “Pa and Ma,” who were hurt that the stepchildren spent more time with the in-laws. They asked whether they should move across the country to be closer to their son.

We have two young children and love our parents. However, years ago, we moved far away for better jobs. Both sets of grandparents are in their 60s and retired. They are fairly uninvolved in our lives and visit perhaps once every two or three years.

It makes us sad that our kids will never have a strong bond with their grandparents. “Pa and Ma” sound like they want to spend time with the grandkids. If they lived near us, we would “adopt” them as our kids’ grandparents so they could spend time together.

We have done this with seniors at our church, who let our kids call them “Grandma and Grandpa.” Please suggest to “Pa and Ma” that they look in their area for a family with young children who would love to have them in their lives. – Two Sides to Every Story in New England

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