Author shares the importance of hope
BRIDGEVILLE – Darvina Emmerich once again is using her experiences from the most painful time in her life to help others.
In 2011, she founded the Wrapped in Love Foundation, which distributes handmade quilts and crocheted, knitted and no-sew fleece blankets to cancer patients and others with serious illness. The nonprofit organization was inspired by the memory of her husband, James Emmerich, who was always shivering while undergoing chemotherapy treatments.
In December, Darvina released a book, “How to Float When You’re About to Sink,” a series of vignettes from specific days and events during Jim’s courageous 14-month battle with germ cell cancer. The book also documents the stages of denial, anger and acceptance when a loved one is diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer.
Darvina’s message of love, hope and her unwavering faith in God resonates throughout the book. Each chapter is punctuated with Bible verses and ends with the lessons she learned from the challenges she faced while spending 24 hours a day at her husband’s bedside, many in a Houston, Texas, hospital – nearly 200 miles away from the couple’s Lakeway home, family and friends.
“I knew it was time to publish the book,” said Darvina, who returned to her native Pittsburgh after Jim, 48, died in 1997. She now resides in Bridgeville. “We all need to work together to make it better for others.”
Although the book contains inspirational stories about cancer survivors who visited Jim during his extended hospital stays, it also highlights in poignant detail the flaws and insensitivity of the medical professionals the couple encountered.
One of the most chilling accounts occurred when Jim’s skin turned bright red during one of his chemotherapy treatments. His regular oncologist was out of town, and even though the doctor had outlined Jim’s treatment plan before he left, fellow doctors were unfamiliar with the protocol. None could explain why Jim’s skin was bright red, and none had any way of contacting the oncologist.
“I was about to lose it,” Darvina writes. “No one was listening to our concerns.” The chemotherapy also resulted in extreme nausea and vomiting, and daily lab tests showed Jim was at risk for kidney failure.
A week after the treatment began, his oncologist returned. When he examined Jim, he immediately ordered “rescue drugs.” The doctor told Darvina if the chemotherapy drug remained in his body much longer, it would “burn the inside of the body and can cause death.” To make matters worse, the doctor told the couple that Jim may need dialysis.
When the couple inquired whether they would be able to attend the high school graduation of their daughter, Robin, in a few days, the doctor replied, “No, but at least you’ll still be around for her college graduation.”
But Jim wasn’t. He died nine months later.
“It is so important to get this book into the hands of medical students,” Darvina said. “I’m hoping this book will wake up people and doctors. You must empower yourself with as much knowledge as possible.
“I was there 24/7. I didn’t move. What happens to those people who don’t have anyone? It’s a constant struggle. I had to be strong for the both of us. I couldn’t lose my voice.”
Part of the proceeds from the book will benefit Wrapped in Love, which has expanded to Austin, Texas, where Darvina’s daughters still live. The eldest, Tara, was in college when her father was diagnosed. She assumed responsibility for the household and her sister’s care during her parents’ extended stays at the hospital. “It changes the family dynamics,” Darvina said.
To date, Wrapped in Love and its Blanket Brigade volunteers have donated more than 5,000 blankets to various hospitals and cancer centers. Locally, it has partnered with, among others, Hillman Cancer Center, St. Clair Hospital, UPMC Bethel Park Outpatient Center, WPAH Peters Township Outpatient Care Center, the American Cancer Society, Ronald McDonald House and Magee Womens Hospital.
Darvina said the demand for blankets has been overwhelming. Hillman, for example, treats from 300 to 400 patients on a daily basis. Wrapped in Love can’t always meet the need, but Darvina hopes maybe one day that may change.
“Everybody’s life has a mission and a path. Maybe this was Jim’s,” Darvina said. “He’d be so extremely humbled. He was such a simple man.
“People have to have hope. The spirit is stronger. With God, all things are possible. Don’t allow anyone to take that from you.”
For more information about Wrapped in Love, visit www.wrappedinlovefoundation.com. “How to Float When You’re About to Sink” (Balboa Press, $11.99 soft cover; $28.95 hard cover) can be purchased online.