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Mom reluctant to toilet train 4-year-old

2 min read

Q. I’m taking a lot of grief from the other moms in our support group because my almost-4-year-old daughter is not yet toilet trained. I intend to follow her lead and when she’s ready I’m sure she’ll let me know. What should I say to the other moms?

A. If this approach works for you and your child, then do what you feel is right and don’t succumb to the pressure from the other parents.

You would be part of an increasing trend of potty training children at a later age.

The percent of toddlers 30 months old who are toilet trained decreased from 90 percent to 22 percent in the past 35 years. Most attribute this change to the widespread availability of paper diapers.

Children are generally developmental ready for training sometime around 18 to 30 months. While I support your decision to raise your child in the manner you feel appropriate, I do wonder why you are letting your child make this decision. You set and enforce all kinds of expectations for your daughter. What is your reluctance to do the same about toilet training?

Dr. Gregory Ramey is executive director of Dayton Children’s Pediatric Center for Mental Health Resources.

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