Oct 21, 2014 3 min read

Q. A few years ago, I obtained a quote from a company for a manufacturing service. My business ended up not using them.

Two months later, I received an invitation from this company to an open house. I initially thought, “How nice.” However, on reading further, it said a religious organization would give a presentation and donations would be encouraged. I felt I was being used.

Within the week, I received a follow-up call regarding the original quote. I informed them that their prices were not in our range, and at some point during the conversation, I gently mentioned that I thought the open house invitation was in poor taste. I probably should have been more diplomatic, but I thought the person on the other end could use some constructive criticism. In return, I was blasted. It turns out she was the daughter of the owner. In yelling at me, she also said that one of her sisters suffers from a genetic birth defect and that the presentation was to raise funds for the disease.

After all this time, it still bothers me. Was it OK for this company to use its business contacts to try to raise funds for a charity this way? – A Reader

A. First of all, if the religious presentation was to raise funds for a specific medical cause, it should have been stated on the original invitation. Otherwise, people could easily get the wrong idea, as you did. And while we cannot blame a family for wanting to reach out to as many contacts as possible, it was inappropriate to use their minor business contact with you to solicit funds for a personal charity. But it would have been better had you not chastised the company employee over the phone, even with good intentions. A simple “yes” or “no” to the invitation would have sufficed, and then this wouldn’t be bothering you years later. Please try to let it go.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Salem, Ore.,” the couple wondering how to tell friends and family not to buy them Christmas gifts. Years ago, our parents told us the same thing. They asked that instead of buying for them, we buy for someone else.

Many stores in our area have a “giving tree.” Each ornament has a gift idea and a child’s age and size. I was thrilled to find a tag for a little girl who wanted Barbie doll clothes, as I make those. The gifts are then taken to the area social services to be distributed. The stores are also involved with the food pantry at our church. There are so many people in need. – Giving

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