Annie’s Mailbox: If you don’t want to know, don’t ask
Q. My wife and I have been married for 19 years. I have been faithful the entire time, and I would like to think she has been, as well. There have been a few times when she has come home extremely late after going out with “the girls,” and she sometimes comes home an hour or two later than expected after work. She always has an explanation, and although the thought has crossed my mind, I have never accused her of cheating.
I recently received an anonymous message via Facebook saying that my wife has been cheating on me for years, and the message even named the person. It’s a guy we know, and he’s the one who came to mind on those nights when my wife returned home late.
Under normal circumstances, I would dismiss the anonymous message as a prank, but I’m not so sure. Should I confront my wife and ask whether something is going on? Should I just let it be? I’m not sure she’d tell me the truth if she were, in fact, cheating, and more importantly, I’m not sure I really want to know. – Wondering in Winter
A. If you truly don’t want to know and/or you trust your wife, then ignore the anonymous message. But it seems you already are concerned, and the message simply gave voice to your worst fears. So, we think you should speak to your wife. Show her the message. Explain why you are taking it seriously. Ask whether she has anything to tell you. Her response should be reassuring, not defensive.
Dear Annie: “Eileen” said she bought a gift card to a restaurant that subsequently went out of business, so now she’s stuck. She and other readers with this problem might check with their state treasurer. By law, the funds in those cards belong to the holder, not to the restaurant. The treasurer’s office might be able to help get their money back. – J.W.
Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254